Merle's hidden Daughter

sadder times

The group got back last night, beth died right before Maggie got to see her, I cried hearing this. Its was so sad, I couldn't imagine what she's going through. Glenn had completely forgotten about me, trying to sooth Maggie. I felt a little sad I would've liked even a quick hug from him but nothing, Daryl walked in and actually picked me up spinning me around real quick and kissing my forehead, and mumbled that he loves him. My big brother had finally realized I wasn't a burden, and I think loosing beth made him think of me. Beth after all was only a year older, but she was the complete opposite of me. They brought some kid named Noah, he's really funny and cute. Me and Carl aren't a "thing" but we share moments. "So Noah what's the scariest situation you've been in?" I ask him. "Getting split up from my family and not knowing if they are ok" he mumbles. My heart clenches knowing exactly how he feels. I quickly lean over and hug him tightly look in his eyes. "If it helps I've been there. Im sure they are fine, if they are anything like you, smart, strong, brave" I tell him.

"I want to hug him so badly" I mumble into Noah's chest. "Who?" He asks. "The Asian, he's like my other big brother" I admit and blush a little. "Oh good I thought you were gonna say that boy that's staring at us" Noah let's out a sigh and laughs a little. "Who Carl?" I ask and look over and sure enough Carl is staring intensely at us. "Oh no, were not a thing" I tell him. I had tried a couple of times with him after the whole glenn thing and he brushed the idea off of his shoulders so why can't I be happy with someone else? "Oh, good." He mumbles. My face turns pink and I sit up to see him better, "good? What does good mean?" I ask smiling. "You seem really nice and your really pretty" he mumbles and scratches the back of his neck. I kiss his cheek lightly and keep my lips by his ear. "I am" I whisper before pulling back and getting up to go check on Judith hearing her small cries. "I got it rick, probably just a full diaper" I speak halfway to the room as he begins to stand. He sits back down and thanks me. I walk into the room and begin to change Judith. I hear tiny almost not there creaks in the floor boards, and then nothing. "Carl, its ok I'm only changing Judith you dont have to watch over my every move." I speak sighing. I hear the footsteps come closer and my body tenses wanting to turn but I dont, "carl your not funny" I speak lowly and continue to change her trying to brush off my scared feeling. A hand touches my shoulder and I quickly turn around connecting my fist to someone's jaw. My eyes focus as they stand up straight again and I see Glenn. "What the hell?" He hisses quietly and rubs his jaw. "Fuck you!" I snap and turn back around, dressing Judith and picking her up. He turns me around and I stare up at him angrily. "What did I do?" He whispers. "I was sacred for your safety, for everyone's. And it seems everyone but you hugged me when you guys got back. Your important to me!" I snap and push him back with one hand. Judith fusses a little and I bounce her on my hip. "Wanna go see daddy?" I ask her and she giggles and I smile at her. "I was helping Maggie." He mumbles. "But back at the prison you were ready to leave her, to be with me" I speak uncertain.

"She just lost beth" he defends her angrily. "I get that and I feel terrible knowing that, that happened to her. But you dont get how that hurt me" I snap. "She needs someone right now" he snaps. "I need you" I snap and push him harder. "Jas-" I cut him off. "I need my big brother, you know. I'm lost, I have boy troubles still. Im still a teenage girl that is confused and lost!" I tell him. "But jas you know how I feel" he sighs. "No, no I dont. I think you really do love Maggie as a partner and you love me as a sister. I was confused for a while at first to. Its because you've seen me grow into who I am standing here right now in front of you." I tell him. He leans forward and kisses my lips, I softly kiss him back for a second before pulling away. "Different then Maggie's?" I ask. He nods touching his lips softly with his finger tip, "a weird different?" I ask running my tongue over my chapped lips. He just nods, "be with Maggie glenn" I tell him and walk around him with Judith in my arms. "Rick someone missed you" I giggle as she starts reaching for him as soon as she sees him. He laughs his eyes sparkling with love as he holds his daughter in amazement. I walk over to Noah and sit down with him, "hey" I mumble and look at the wall. "Hey" he speaks. "I'll be back" I speak suddenly wanting to cry. I stand up quickly bumping into a bench causing a loud noise and everyone stops talking and looks over at me, Glenn goes to stand but I look away and run outside. I sit on the porch and sigh putting my head in my hands. I can feel my body shake as I cry, I didn't understand why. My head was racing with a million thoughts, my eyes were just as cloudy as my head right now. I couldn't tell if it was from loosing so many and it finally sinking in or if it was because I was afraid I'd end up alone. "Jasmine" Daryl's gruff voice snapped. "Yeah?" I asked and hiccupped. I wipped my eyes and looked up at him, "what's wrong with ya?" He mumbled sitting down and handing me a rabbit leg. "All that's left" he shrugs and continues to chew on his bone. "Daryl eat it please, you always give me your food." I tell him. He shakes his head and throws the bone as far as he can. "You need to eat" he states. "Do you love me?" I ask him. "Yeah" he huffs. "Why?" I ask him. "Your family." He shrugs. "Do you love them?" I ask looking at the church doors. "Yeah" he shrugs. "Why?" I ask. "There good people" he answers me. "Do they love us?" I ask some more tears falling down my face. He stays quiet for a minute before nodding. "Why?" I ask. "What's going on?" He speaks sitting up. "Why does life have to be so hard? This isnt much better than living with dad" I tell him. "Shut your mouth" he snaps at me. "Daryl even though he's not here I live everyday of my life still scared of you dying and now there's more people to worry about!" I cry out. "Dont" He snaps his voice cracks some. "I miss Merle!" I cry out and jump forward and hug Daryl. "I do to" Daryl's tells me and his chests shakes. I hug him tight feeling bad for making him cry, "I'm sorry Daryl, I'm trying I really am" I sob out and he rubs his hand on my back. "All boys are trouble" he tells me. "Even you and Merle" I mumble repeating what they used to tell me when I was younger.

He hugs me tightly and kisses my head, "I dont want to do this anymore" i tell him. "Shut up" he snaps and hugs me tighter still crying. "I'm so sorry" I sob out and hug him tightly. I pull back feeling a bit better and wipe my tears before wiping Daryl's and looking him in the eyes. "Sometimes everyone just needs to cry, but I get it. I have to be strong, for you and the group" I tell him firmly. A couple more tears roll down his face and mine stop. I stand up and move his hair out of his face, "come in when your ready. I love you" I tell him. "Love ya to" he mumbles. I walk inside and everyone's eyes look at me, rick walks over with Judith and stands in front of me. "Are you ok?" He asks. "Yeah I'm-" I pause to think of the word. "-better" I finish before smiling at him and Judith. "You know I'm always here for you right?" He asks. "Yeah, thanks" I tell him and hug them both. I walk over into the room with Kate and lay down closing my eyes.