Merle's hidden Daughter

broken and destroyed

Almost everyone went on the big run today. Well most of our group anyway. I stayed back and decided to get some rest....ok that's a lie. They forced me to stay and keep off my ankle. Pete had to check it out, as much as rick hated him near me. I didn't understand what ricks problem was with him until I seen Pete with Jessie. His wife. Its clear that he hits her. And I felt bad for carol having to see that, but I felt bad for Jessie to. As bad as I could feel I guess..

I slowly start to stand and get up before rick looks at me and stands up blocking me from moving. "What are you doing?" he asks. "Dogs need to be fed and walked" I state. "Carl can do that" he smirks at me. I roll my eyes and plop back onto the bed. Rick left and hours later I still layed in the bed. I don't know why I just stayed laying here, doing nothing. I got up and hobbled down the stairs and out the door. I got to the porch and seen glen and the others come in. He was soaked in blood and looked like he seen a ghost. Maybe he was still shaken up from taras accident. But she was fine. I limped over and smiled at glen glad to see him back. He looked at me and froze mouth hanging open and tears pouring from his eyes. "Glen?" I question scared. "Were you bit?" I ask hoping for him not to be. He walked over and hugged me tight crying. He pulled away and shot that guy a dirty look. I always forget his name... It was deanas sons friend. The one that died on the run. Man...I need to talk to these people to get to know their names.

Glen pulled rick aside and started talking to him and rick hugged glen. Something bad happened on the run. "Glen?" I call and they pull apart.. "Um wheres Noah?" I ask worried as I stand on my tippy toes trying to see if he sat in the car still. "He went on a run by himself..." rick tells me trailing off. "Oh..ok then" I shrug. Everyone was acting weird and it was bothering me. "Does anyone know where he went? Its not like him to be somewhere by himself...." I ask. "Come with me." Rick states and pulls me off with him. He leads me to the house and brings me upstairs closing the door. "Listen we need to talk about Noah" Rick sighs. "Rick i know you never really thought we should be together but I love him. And im telling him it when he comes back." I state boldly. "Jasmine listen-" I interrupt Rick "-No Rick you listen! I love him and you cant stop me from doing this-" i get interrupted "Jasmine Noah died on the run today!" Rick screams. "What?" I ask, my heart starts beating loudly and everything fades out. "NO NO NO NO" I cry and drop to the floor. Two hands grab me and pull me into their chest and rubs my hair.  "Noah?" I ask desperate for it not to be true. Theres a long pause, "No its glen" I finally hear and I cry more. "Shh Shh" I hear Glen try to quiet me. "I want Noah" I sob. He doesnt say anything, just keeps comforting me. Someone clears their throat and Glen freezes, I was to weak to look up.

Glen lets go of me and stands up, standing there was Daryl. I stand up and wipe my face and clear my throat. "What are ya doin?" Daryl asks. "I have work to do, Deana needs me" I state and walk past him. He reaches out for me, but i avoided his hand and left. "Deana?" I call out and look around. I see nobody around and sigh, I walk over towards a wall and slump down it. On the other side the walkers were banging against it loudly, but i didnt care anymore. I couldnt, my heart was empty. It seemed stupid at first that I was so worked up about a boyfriend but then I realized that wasnt about just Noah, as mean as that sounded. Way to many people have been lost, and I cant take it anymore. "Im sorry" I hear and look up to see Carl standing there, with his hands in his pockets looking awkward. "For?" My dull voice questions. "Noah... Id be sad to.." He trails off. He walks over and sits next to me looking at the wall uneasily, "Carl you dont have to" I sigh. "I want to. How have you been?" He questions. "Can we just-just sit here?" I ask defeated. "Of course" Carl mumbles. "When my mom died, I thought-" "-Carl stop" I interrupt him. "-When my mom died, I blamed myself. I closed everyone out and tried to keep myself from getting hurt again." He continues. 

"Carl this isnt just about Noah. This is complicated and no one will understand. You have a parent and a sister, I have no one. They died and left me." I sighed. "So tell me about whats going on" He sighs. "Look Carl, nothing is simple and im done talking about this" I stand up and walk back to the house. I slam the door and stomp up the stairs and grab all my stuff. "Maybe me and her should find a house somewhere away from everyone" I hear Daryl sigh. "Or she can go by herself?" Carol states. How dare she! "She isnt safe, weve all seen her go crazy multiple times. How many chances does she get? Until one of us are dead? Judith? Carl?" Carol states. Everyone was silent and I knew what that meant, i grunted and left. I climb the gate and head away, I couldnt stay here anymore they wanted me gone all for nothing. 'It wasnt for noting stupid' a voice snaps. I look around scared and shocked, but shake my head and keep walking. I didnt want to start down that path again, "Im sorry everyone" I sigh and wipe my tear. 

its been a couple of weeks sense this all happened, ive been with this group that calls themselfs favors? Oh saviors. Their leader Negan took me in and has become like a father to me, hell always bring me flowers or jewelry back on runs. I had got back into Alexandrea and got my dogs. At first Negan was mad and tried to make me get rid of them, but I told him if they go I go. "Get your stuff ready were going to take care of buisness." Negan states with a smirk. I grab my backpack and weapons and follow him out.