TRIGGER WARNING: Please don't read this if you're easily triggered or sensitive to self harm.
Alan
Today is one of my black days ugh, I hope I don't annoy Austin <you annoy everyone you worthless freak> (AN that's his thoughts).
Can I be bothered to do anything, the answer to that is no, let's just look at the time oh 2:25 am brilliant am I going back to sleep? I highly doubt it. Ugh this is stupid please shut up brain I want to cuddle my boyfriend and sleep. Fun fun shut up brain. <did you really think I was just going to go away that shows how pathetic you are> Maybe you're right I'm just pathetic, worthless a freak who would ever want me.
I slowly get out of bed I glance at Austin and see him shift slightly, I smile sadly. I walk into the bathroom shut the door behind me and turn on the light. I open the cupboard and search for a small box. I open it and see about ten blades.
I sit on the floor and place nine of the blades in a line. I take the blade in my hand and press it against my thigh I move it up and down then place it on the floor. I pick up another blade and repeat the process. By the end of testing each blade I had them in a line of how sharp they are. I had blood running down my leg and all I did was laugh quietly. I picked up the sharpest blade and cut some more. I saw there was blood on the floor blood running down my leg. I stopped and cleaned up my leg and the bathroom. I feel tired I hope I cleaned all the blood up properly. I pit the blades away walk out the bathroom and get into bed and cuddle Austin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Authors note
If any of you struggle with self harm please talk to me I'm always here
