Good Bad & Undecided. (Austin Mahone Love Story)

Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Alex's POV

I threw my phone against the wall as I ran my fingers through my hair. I could hear her voice through the text message. She was pissed but inside, she was dying. I could tell. I'm her best friend. Of course, I didn't feel like that anymore. "No, Alex. I don't want to talk to you," The message from her read.

I felt the tears in my eyes begin to develop as I pulled my legs up to my chest. I mentally punched myself for being so weak, and also, for being so stupid. "Ali," I muttered as I felt a few tears slip into the corners of my mouth. "I love you. I love you. I really do," I whispered to myself, knowing I'd never be able to admit something like to her in person.

I just couldn't. She'd reject me. She was far too beautiful and flawless to have feelings like that towards me. "Alex! Payton's here!" My mother yelled from downstairs. I felt my lip start to quiver. I didn't mean for this to happen. I thought maybe, if I dated Payton, Ali would realize her true feelings for me. Yes, Payton was beautiful but we were friends. That's all.

"C-c-coming!" I shouted back, forcing myself to get up from my bed and walk in front of my mirror. I wiped my eyes free of tears but their red tint made it obvious I had been crying. I sighed loudly and walked out of my room and downstairs, making my feet slam loudly on each step.

I entered the living room where my mother and Payton were casually making conversation. Payton grinned, laughing flawlessly at something my mother said. Suddenly, Payton shot her glance towards me and her eye brows furrowed. She probably noticed my eyes. "Hey," I muttered, forcing a small smile on my face.

"Alright, I'll just leave you two alone. I have to go to the store anyways. Will you two be alright here?" My mother asked, taking small steps towards the door.

"Yeah. We'll be fine," I muttered.

"Well, have fun," My mother gleamed, shooting Payton a loving smile before leaving the house. We both stood there in silence and I kept my head down.

"We need to talk," Payton finally spoke, taking a few steps towards me.

I finally lifted my head up, my eyes meeting her blue ones which were filled with desire. "Agreed. Payton, I-" I began, planning to tell her everything. I couldn't handle the guilt of leading her on anymore.

"No, Alex. Let me go first." Her look meant business. I straightened my shoulders and nodded, indicating her to begin. "I love you," She muttered, her lips curling into a small smile. I didn't reply instead, I just stared at her. Eventually, her smile transformed into a frown and her eyes became wet. "I knew this would happen. I'm sorry, Alex. I knew you wouldn't feel the same way. I'm so dumb!" She cried, lifting her hands up to her eyes and covering them.

I felt a sudden rush of guilt wash over me as she stood in front of me, crying her eyes out. "No, no, no," I stuttered, reaching out and pulling her into my arms. "It's okay." I stopped. I debated what to say next. And of course, the overwhelming temptation to lie got the better of me. "I love you too. I mean it."

Her sobs stopped and she lifted her head, her cute smile once again appearing on her lips. "Really?" I nodded. She giggled and cupped my face in her hands, pressing her lips against mine. I remembered how it felt to have Ali's lips on mine. That was the best feeling in the world. I love Ali. I have since I was ten years old and realized girls didn't have cooties. It's been 7 years and I'm still waiting for her to realize she has feelings for me. Cause I know she does.

Payton's phone vibrated and she pulled away from the kiss and reached into her pocket. "Who's that?" I asked.

"Robert," She responded, "He wants me to look at Ali's facebook." Her eyes darted across the screen until they finally stopped and she groaned. "She's such a slut!"

I frowned, "What happened?" She shoved her phone in my face and I looked at the screen. There, right in front of me, was a picture of her and Austin smiling like they didn't have a care in the world. I bit my lip, trying to keep from breaking down. I hated how she was around him. She looked happy- honestly happy- when she was with him. I was jealous of how he made her feel. I was curious of how he made her feel that way. Whenever someone mentioned him, her eyes gleamed in the most beautiful way.

I couldn't take it anymore. "You okay?" Payton asked. I pushed her phone back towards her. I put on my best fake smirk and took a few steps towards her, closing any space in between us.

"Just fine," I continued smirking at her and took her hand. She looked curious as to what I was doing until she finally began grinning. I began leading her up the stairs. She giggled the whole way up as I fought off the little voice in my head that was telling me that this was wrong.

I opened my bedroom door, letting her enter before me. I immediately made my way towards her, slithering my hands around her waist and pulling her into a sloppy kiss. I pushed her until we both finally fell on my bed, me on top of her.

I pulled away from the kiss, looking down at her. "Are you sure?" She asked, biting her lip. I nodded before throwing my lips back on top of hers.

~

I slid the tape into the VCR as I sat on my floor, my knees once again pulled against my chest. I kept my eyes locked on the TV as the blurry film started playing.

As the young version of me appeared in the video, I smiled small. My phone vibrated and I picked it up.

To: Alex From: Payton Today was amazing. I'm so glad it was you. I love you.

For the second time today, I threw my phone against the wall. I turned my attention back to the TV. I watched the home video that my mom had taken when Ali and I were both five. "Hey, kids!" My mom spoke. Both mine and Ali's giggles cut as we listened to my mom. The camera got close up on my face and I stuck my tongue out. "Alex, why don't you tell me what you said to me about Ali earlier?" My mom asked. I heard Ali's small snicker from the background.

My cheeks flushed red as my big eyes expanded. "I'm going to marry Ali one day!" I shouted proudly, leaning over and placing a kiss on Ali's cheek.

"Ewie!" Ali shouted as we both ran off to play on the small playground in my backyard which was no longer there anymore. I chuckled.

"I swear, one day they actually will marry each other," Ali's mom cooed from behind the camera. My cheek bones raised a bit as I grinned.

"Agreed," My mom laughed before the video cut off the static occupied my TV screen.

I had planned it all out at different points. When I was twelve, I was going to ask her to be my girlfriend. Well, that never worked because she admitted her feelings for my best friend, Robert. I brushed it off, thinking I would ask her another time. When I was thirteen, I decided I was going to marry her when I was older. When I was fourteen, I decided she was the one I wanted to give everything to. Of course, I couldn't do that now. I felt a pinch in the back of my eyes as I realized today, I made the biggest mistake of my life.

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THIS IS INTENSE. I LIKE IT. LMFAO. YA'LL PROBABLY HATE ME AFTER THIS.

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