Long Road Ahead [Completed]

Chapter 9- Torn

Its been two months since Edd left.

Nat has been a good roommate.
Currently he was across the country seeing Rave, he had the money- thanks to his parents- to do so.

I keep myself busy by spending my free time at work. Avery changed my schedule on my request to be full time, but even at that I find myself having a lot of free time.

I got an email from Edd one night about a week ago.

________________________
From: Pensky.Eddward

Hello Kevin,
College has been going great!
There is so much work, but I don't mind it.
The library here is huge!
Students actually come into this library so it isn't like our old high school.
Best wishes,
Edd
________________________

I was relieved to hear everything was going good for him, but it kind of hurt he didn't put anything more into his email.

I had been sending emails for the first week every night encouraging him to keep working hard. The last few weeks of the first month I sent one every other day, telling him things like I miss you, hope your doing well, and such things. This month, I was down to only one a week.
I guess not hearing from him was tearing a hole in my bag of hope that this relationship will work.

Oh Edd,
Why
-do you make me feel anxious?
-do you have to be so cute?
-do you have to be so smart?
-do you have to be so smart that you went to college early?
Why
-don't you reply to my emails?
-don't you want to talk to me?
-don't you tell me what's wrong?
What
-did I do?
-did I do to hurt you?
-did I do to make such an angel hide away?
-did I do to make you disappear?
Tell me
-please

I think this to myself. If my heart is beating I can't feel it. The cold weather is coming soon and I already feel like -20 degrees.
My body shakes,
Head throbbing,
Gasping for air,
Small droplets,
I'm crying.

I never thought it would be this hard.