To those we've lost, and saved

TORTURE AND REUNIONS

 CLARKE POV:

It hadn't taken Indra all the long to convince you to find Lexa, although riding back towards Camp Jaha you're still not entirely sure why you agreed at all. There was no reason for her to be here, you're people would have never taken her in and she would have been smarter than to venture inside the camp gates alone. This was completely and utterly pointless. Maybe you just wanted to prove a point, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't at least a little worried about Lexa. There was no avoiding the fact that her apparent disappearance was unsettling, but even still looking for her here was pointless, it seemed obvious to you that the Ice Nation was the first place you should be searching. You made a mental note to bring that up with Indra as soon as you returned from this futile trip.

Walking through the camp walls you have the frightening thought, what if you're not welcome here anymore? You'd left without a second goodbye, but surely they understood that you needed to, Bellamy would have understood. The staring eyes of every person you pass don't do anything to ease these worries so you drop your gaze to your feet. Get in, ask your questions and get out.

You desperately want to turn back and run, escape back into the forests, even if it means you are trapped there until the end of your days, haunted by everything you have done. But you need to do this, If not only to tick one location off the list but still the guilt of what you've done weighs down crushingly on your chest, the pressure being almost enough to convince you to turn around, almost. 

"Clarke!" a crowd shouts, rushing towards you all at once. After being alone in the woods for so long your first instinct is to run, run as fast as you can in the other direction, this crowd isn't a threat and you know that, but still you have to grit your teeth to keep from moving. Within seconds you're engulfed in the arms of faces you have yet to distinguish yet. Ryder doesn't seem to like that they're so close and his hand instinctively curls around his dagger, quickly gaining the attention of the guards at the front gate who have been pacing uneasily since your arrival, but with the flick of your wrist his hand relaxes and he steps back, giving the group even more space to wrap their arms around you.

You force a quick smile, pulling away from the crowd, taking in their ecstatic faces. It takes you a minute but you finally allow yourself to relax, really relax, even feeling the hint of a growing grin on your own face, a real one. After so long it is a foreign feeling but now that you're surrounded by your friends you welcome it with welcome arms. This joy, however, is short-lived as Raven pulls you to the side, much to the surprise of the rest of the group.

"I need to talk to you, like now " She whispers, dragging you towards the ark, Ryder in tow.

"What's wrong? Can't this wait just a sec-"

"It's the commander, they have her". Your eyes widen in fear and Raven reads the expression perfectly. " She's alive, for now " She adds, looking confused, probably wondering why you're worried about the girl who left you to die. Hastily grabbing your wrist again she drags you through the halls of this once familiar prison.

"Keep up please princess, if she dies it's on me"

You plant your feet only the ground, halting the girl in her tracks and pulling your wrist free.         " Raven, what are you talking about? " You ask, not sure what to think, who to trust right now.

" It's not like that. I amped up the voltage on the guards shock batons so they could use them while they were hunting instead of wasting bullets but they've been using it on her for a week, i tried to stop, tried to tell them what it could do but they wouldn't listen, they just laughed at me  " the brunette says sprinting around a corner and stopping at the first door on the right, throwing it open but stepping aside, letting you through first.

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