To those we've lost, and saved

Thank you

LEXA POV:

The chancellor marches out of the room, slamming the door as she goes. The noise echoes through the metal walls of the once wonderous space station and you flinch and the sound. Clarke notices and a worried looks falls across her face but before she can ask, you break the silence.

" Thank you ".

" For what " she laughs, locking the door behind her and moving back towards the bed.

" You once told me that when someone saves your life you're people say thank you " You say softly, still wanting to tread lightly around what you bring up, you want so badly to have what she says be true, that she doesn't blame you. But you know that deep down she still blames you, the question is how deeply has she hidden it? How long will it be until it rears it's ugly head? It's a haunting series of questions that plague your mind.

" She wouldn't have- " She stops herself mid sentence looking down to her feet, you know she's wondering if her people are capable of killing someone for her own safety, she's wondering if her mother, a doctor is capable of killing someone for her.

" You're welcome ".

Your heart hurts for the girl, she's just now realising how much the people she once thought not capable of hurting a fly have changed, how this place, the war and the ever present shadow of death has changed them all, even her. You know it must be a terrifying thought for the her, such a short time ago she hadn't a worry in the world, never in a million years would she have had to worry about whether she would live to see the next day, such a short time ago she had been so pure and so innocent. It's scary to think how much someone can change in such a short time. You however have never had to think about it like this, you've never been given anything to compare the life you live now to, this is the only way you know and so for you it is normal, but for Clarke, well she's still learning.

" You're a good person Clarke ".

" What are you talking about? ".

" I can tell what you're thinking, you're trying to work out if your people, your friends, your mother even.. " you pause wondering if you should continue, she could take this the wrong way and that's the last thing you want, but she's looking at you expectantly now so you keep going, preying she wont take it badly " you're trying to work out if they're capable of killing someone and not giving it a second thought because it was for their people, because it was for you. They've all changed. It scares you to think what they are capable of, it makes you wonder if you're like that, like them. You're thinking what if i was them? What would i had done? "

" Lexa what are you doing? I don't want another lesson- "

" Not another lesson, i promise, just listen. You are a good person Clarke, You know that, even if at this moment you're not willing to see it. Please don't question you're humanity because of the questionability of theirs. People do crazy things when they're driven by their heart, for example a commander abandoning her post and deserting her clans abmassadors and their meetings to go in search of a girl ".

Did you actually just say that? Dammit Lexa.

She's blushing but you know your cheeks much be at least three shades darker.