To those we've lost, and saved

What would it involve?

Sorry this took so long, i slept for most of my holidays and just started school last week plus drama drama drama, who wants a good story about exes? well i've got one. Anyyyyway hope you enjoy, ill try to have the next chapter up soon but if anyone wants a spoiler message me, or just message me if you ever wanna talk.

LEXA POV:

"Well that wasn't exactly how I planned you meeting them" You admit quietly, hoping that the kids made a good impression on Clarke. You could understand if she needed some time to process all of that. After all waking up to seven kids you've never met staring at you would be enough of a shock but add onto that how rude Titus was you're really not sure what she's thinking. "Do you like them?" You ask nervously after she doesn't speak. From the way she was smiling at you before you're hoping she does, or at least that the idea of them doesn't scare her off. You'd hate to think of what would happen if she didn't like them. Silently she smiles at you.

"Honestly, I don't know why you're so worried" Clarke says sweetly, sliding across the bed and resting her head on your shoulder she adds "The kids seem amazing and how could they not be when you've raised them?".

"Mochof Clarke" You say quietly, kissing her on the forehead. "I am sorry about Titus, I will make sure he treats you with more respect from now on".

"Thank you" She yawns, taking your hand in hers and pulling it into her lap, so that your arm is now around her shoulder. Yet again you feel at peace, just as you did last night and it makes you wonder why you didn't just send the Natblida's on their way so you could enjoy a peaceful first morning in Polis with Clarke. "But he may have a point" Clarke adds, disturbing the peacefulness in your mind.

"Who does? Titus?" You ask, having no idea how she could believe that anything he just said made sense. You are usually the first and only person to defend him but even you could see that he was just being stubborn this morning.

"Titus was right,Skaikru isn't part of your coalition so it doesn't make sense for me to be an ambassador, especially not for those people, I don't even know if I want to be classified as one of them anymore. Not after what they did to you" she adds sadly, her eyes drifting to your stomach still covered in bandages.

"So what are you saying?" You ask, pulling away from Clarke so that you can see her face and try to get a better grasp on what she's thinking, suddenly reconsidering ever letting her leave the safety on Trikru territory. "You want to stay here under no political protection at all?". You wont lie, you want Clarke to stay here in Polis with you more than anything but there is no chance that you are going to let her risk staying here with no level of political protection against your enemies.

"No, I know you wouldn't let me even if I wanted to. It's just that after what Titus said I don't think that be being an ambassador for Skaikru will sit well with the other Clans and I wont let you risk your coalition for me. What if became your advisor? That way the other clans wouldn't be able to object because I would have no affiliation to Skaikru and then you would be able to keep me close in case there was ever any danger". You think silently for a moment, taking in the girls words. Her plan works and is much better than your ill conceived one. But it would come at a cost to her.

"Clarke to become my advisor you would have to become one of us, you would no longer be Clarke of the Sky people". You say softly, searching her eyes in the absence of her words. "You would need to become Trikru. I can't ask you to do that, not for me". You turn to face away from the girl and take a breath. You should have thought about this before, you should come up with a better plan.

"What exactly would that involve?" Clarke asks. Your head swings back to look at her. After everything she has done for her people, everything she has given up for them how could she so easily be considering this? How dare you even ask so much of her. You barely deserve to be on speaking terms with her so how can she be considering doing this?

"Clarke.." You breathe "I cannot ask that much of you, I wont".

"Your not asking anything of me if it's what I want Lexa" she pleads, her eyes begging you. "What would it involve?".