Rip My Heart Out (Avengers Age of Ultron)

Chapter 16

 "This is all my fault." It was exactly the response I expected from Steve, but it was still heartbreaking to see it play out.

"Steve, you know that isn't true." I whispered. I looked out, over the city, trying to imagine all the people going about their daily lives, worrying about paying bills and getting their kids to school on time.

"I should have protected you." He said. Steve's elbows were resting on his thighs and his face was buried in his hands.

"You did, Steve, but how were we to know that all of HYDRA was after me? How were we supposed to know what Loki set in motion when he was here before? Neither of us could have predicted this. It's not your fault." A gentle breeze was ghosting over my skin, and the sun shone bright.

"How are you so calm? Your entire world just got flipped upside down." Steve looked at me with furrowed eyebrows.

"I have an excellent role model who knows what that's like, and he turned out alright. I figured things can't be so bad if he's on my side." I said, smiling.

"This is a lot more serious than a super-soldier injection, Emelia." Steve said, turning his focus to the skyline too.

The smile on my face faded. Steve was trying to hide one very poignant emotion from me, but I saw it as clearly as I saw his concern for me. "You think I'm going to change."

Steve looked taken aback. "I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." I stood and walked to the edge of the building. The rooftop was higher than any other building in the city. From here, I could see everything.

I heard Steve take a deep breath. "I've seen what the tesseract does to people. It's power corrupts. Emelia, I've encountered this evil too many times to trust it."

Steve's words cut like a knife. Tears formed in my eyes, and the world in front of me became blurry through the salty water. The one person I needed to believe in me saw me as a threat. Steve was the last thread connecting me to my old life, and he just cut it. The finality of it hit me hard, and I had to hold onto the railing to keep myself from falling.

"Then trust me." I managed to say. I sounded as broken as I felt.

Steve didn't say anything for a long time then. Long enough for the tears to fall from my eyes then dry on my cheeks. My mind was racing faster than it ever had. I wondered if Steve felt as though he had lost both of his best friends now.

"I do trust you Emelia, but the tesseract is stronger than you realize. I've seen firsthand what it can do. I just think you should listen to Thor. Maybe there is something he can do to help." Steve said. His voice was distant. He didn't believe his own words.

Anger built inside of me. The pulsing in my chest threatened to take over, but I didn't need it here and now. I didn't need protecting. "You all think you know so much about the tesseract and what it can do." I turned on my heel, facing Steve. "You have no idea. Stop patronizing me. I know exactly what I'm capable of now, Steve. I've seen it firsthand. You and Thor, you're the ones that don't realize what I'm dealing with. You think I can't handle this, and maybe you're right, but shipping me away to another world isn't going to help the situation."

I stormed over to the entrance to the rooftop that Steve and I had come through not so long ago. I opened the door and started to go through before turning to face Steve once more. "All I really needed was a friend Steve. I needed someone who would support me and believe in me. I needed someone to tell me that this thing hasn't changed me, but you know what, I don't think I'm the same person anymore. I don't think the old me could have handled all of this on her own, but you've left me no choice. If you won't help me, I'll just have to figure this out alone."