Stranger's Tale: One Day in Autumn

Part 6: LDR

Sa loob ng kwarto, mahigit 5 minuto na akong nakatitig sa screen ng laptop, nagiisip - hindi ko kasi alam kung anong i-rereply ko sa message ni Andrew. Kahapon pagkauwi ko after i-meet si Beast ay nireplyan ko na siya ng simpleng: I'm fine. How are you?

Tapos ngayong umaga naman pag-open ko ng fb messenger may nakakakilig shang reply. Gusto niyang mag-skype kaming dalawa mamayang gabi.

I mean shempre gusto ko talaga, pero pag-pumayag ako hindi ako makakapuntang downtown mamaya kasama sila Kim, Ara, at Beast dahil 10:00pm Korean time niya gustong mag-skype call. Un kasi ang free time niya sa Kuwait at besides nasabi ko na din kay Greg na magpupunta akong Bar Eleven later. 

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It's almost 10 pm at I'm ready na for my skype call with Andrew. I know, sha ang pinili ko over sa usual friday night ko. Hindi din naman daw kasi pupunta si Ara dahil tinatamad sha, so ngayon parehas kaming nasa bahay, at besides may bukas pa naman.  Nag-ring ang phone ko.

Beast: Asan ka? Di ka ba talaga susunod?

Mary: Hindi nga. Late na din, magte-ten na kaya. Anjan naman si Kim eh!

Beast: Kainis kayo ni Ara! Si Kim tuloy tinamad na din umalis...

Mary: Hahaha. So sino kasama mo ngayon?

Beast: Nakita ko yung mga classmates ko - at mamaya punta na lang akong Viva.

Mary: Umuwi ka na lang ng maaga! Mangbababae ka naman, kala ko ba nahanap mo na ang the one mo? 

Beast: Basta text na lang kita mamaya.  Wait, parang may nakita akong kilala eh sundan ko muna so text mo na lang ako pag nagbago isip mo. Bye.

At binaba na niya nag phone.

Napatingin ulit ako sa screen ng laptop ko. Naka online na sha. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Nanlamig ang mga palad ko.  

Ayan na, tumatawag na sha. Nakikita ko nang nagfflash ang picture nya sa screen ng laptop ko. Tumingin muna ako sa may salamin at inayos ng  konti ang buhok kong naka-lugay. 

Huminga ako ng malalamim at saka klinik ang answer button.

"Hey!" Bati ko sakanya. Kunyari hindi ako kinakabahan...relax lang.

Nakasmile shang kumakaway sa screen. "Hey!" bati din nya. 

Shit, ang gwapo pa din nya talaga! Nakakainis. 

"So, how are you?" Tanong ni Andrew habang inaayos ang pagkakaupo nya sa kama.

"I'm fine. How are you?" I said while trying to keep my cool. Kinikilig kasi talaga ako!

"Well, I don't have work now so I'm happy you can make this call." 

Ang tagal din naming nag-kamustahan. Kinwento niya ang mga bago niyang kaibigan sa base, kung gaano ka boring sa Kuwait. Ako naman, nagkwento din ng mga 'events' ko. Binigyan niya din ako ng virtual tour ng room niya.  Mga 1 oras na kaming nag-uusap when he suddenly became serious.

"Mary..." 

"Yep?" Serioso talaga boses niya. Kinabahan naman ako...feeling ko sasabihin niyang may bago na shang girlfriend. Alam kong wala naman akong karapatang magselos pero...pleaseeeee wag naman sana.

"I..." then he paused.

Baket may suspense! Nakakapraning. Ano ba kasi yun. Parang ayoko na tuloy tanungin baka ma badtrip lang ako pag nalaman ko.

"Do you have a problem?" Nag-serioso na rin ako. I mean kung nega man eh di might as well malaman ko na soon. Hindi din naman ako umaasang magkakabalikan kami. 

Umilig sha. "Nah...nevermind."

Grrrr...seriously? 

"Okay well..." pag-kokontinue niya.

"...yes?" I swear it's killing me!!! "Is there something wrong?" Nakabuntis ba sha ng babae? Gusto ko nang idagdag para matapos na lang.

"Nothing's wrong. I just want to ask a question."

"Okay. You can ask me." 

"I don't want to bring this up, but it has been bugging me for quite sometime now..."

I mean..the suspense talaga ha! Ang daming fillers....ang kaba ko lumilevel up na.  Hindi na nga ako kumukurap.

Huminga sha ng malalim, parang bumwelo pa. "Do you think if we didn't break up a year ago, we would still be together?"

"You mean like in a long distance relationship kind of together?" Obviously yun un. Pero tinanong ko pa din just to be sure. Shempre mahirap nang mag-feeling. 

Tumango sha. 

"I don't know. I thought we both agreed that we are not the LDR type of person?" 

I remember our conversation about LDR, we were still newly dating that time, he asked me if I'm in for an LDR, I answered a big fat NO. Honestly I haven't tried it before but just the thought of having a relationship tapos you can't be with that person physically - parang ang hirap! Baka maging selosa ako - and I'm really not the selosa type. 

He nodded again. This time hindi sha nakatinging sa camera.  "Well, yeah I know. But what if we tried it. We never did."

Wait. Stop. Is this what I think it is? Is he trying to get back with me?! I mean...Waaaahhhh I want to scream sa kilig! 

"Are you saying you want to....?" I didn't finish my sentence. I don't want to assume din kasi and then inisip ko what would I answer if yun nga yung naiisip ko! OMG!

"I want to know if you would be open to that set up."

Now I'm stunned. But what if hindi naman pala. Super vague pa din. I should be sure kung ano ba talaga minimean niya. I mean I want to hear it na diretso. "I don't know. Well, maybe. I mean, I guess. Well anyway no one has ever asked me to that kind of scenario yet. So, I don't know."

"If I ask you?"

"Well...are you going to ask me?"

"Would you say yes?"

"Maybe."

Then nagkaroon ng nakakabinging pause na parang nag-hang yung mga screen namin.  Nagiisp ako nang isasagot ko kung mag-ask nga sha. 

"Okay, first are you in a relationship right now?" Tanong niya.

Umiling ako. "Nope. Maybe you are."

Nag-smile shang umiiling din, "I'm not."

Promise! Kinilig ako!

"Honestly," He continued,  "I tried dating again when we broke up - I thought it's a good way to divert my feelings. Then I stopped talking to you - I actually dreaded our chat conversations." 

"Hahaha. Why?"

"Because you are having a good time - and I fear that you would just eventually tell me to stop talking because you found a new guy. So I stopped contacting you but I still can't help but see your posts on facebook and instagram so I guess that was useless."

I smiled. At that moment, hindi ako kinilig - natuwa ako. Hindi ko alam kung tama bang balikan ko si Andrew or should I just move on? 

"Mary, I want to know if you are willing to give us a second chance. I don't know where this will lead to. I'm not even sure where to go after here in Kuwait, or if I will ever be back there in Korea. I just want to try and work this out somehow. Mary, would you be my girlfriend again?"