habits | cake

three.

calum knew he fucked up.

he knew he shouldn't have walked out on luke like that. he knew he shouldn't have said the things he said. he knew he should have tried to talk it out and help luke, rather than hurt him. he knows he should be there for him, but in all honesty, he only walked out because he was terrified of being a parent.

growing up, calum didn't exactly have a picture perfect family, if you could even use the word to describe the mess he was brought up in. his parents were both extremely busy people and never had any time for their two kids, which left mali, calum's older sister, to take on the parental role.

everything seemed alright until he turned six. his mother and father "grew apart," or at least that's what their constant arguing suggested, which resulted in his mom storming off one day without another word. they haven't talked since. his father was left with the two kids, now having no choice but to drag the children along wherever his job took him. that being said, calum moved around a lot. he was always 'the new kid' and more often than not, never the cool kid.

as calum progressed into his teenage years, he basically hit rock bottom. he was unhappy with everything and hardly breathed a word to anyone. he shut anyone and everyone in his life out and kept to himself until he was about sixteen. that's when it really got bad. he was tired of being the way he was, so he created this  whole 'bad boy' persona, and started hanging out with the wrong kind of people, partaking in the wrong kinds of activities. he started drinking, smoking, partying, doing drugs... you name it, he was doing it. and the saddest part is the fact that no one cared enough about him to try to get him to stop. so he let it go on, and now, even at twenty-two years old, he still hasn't stopped.

however, maybe a week or so after luke told him about the baby, he couldn't help but feel like something had to give at that point. and even though he knew that he and luke weren't a thing, he found himself wishing they were. he also began to think about his childhood, and how different it could have been, had his parents not neglected him and his sister. the memories made him cringe, and he decided that he wasn't going to let himself follow in his parents' footsteps. he would step up and be there for the kid and luke. no child of his was going to grow up the way he did.

it took him a month to gather up the courage to call luke. a whole fucking month. he beat himself up over it, and finally, at three in the morning on a monday, he was knocking on the door to luke's apartment.

he rocked back and forth on his heels and waited rather impatiently for the blonde to answer the door. he felt bad for waking the boy, but he knew he had to do this; he had to make it right.

a few moments later, he could hear a voice groaning and mumbling curse words before the door opened, revealing a sleepy luke with horrible bed head.

"what the fuck are you doing here?"