KISS

Please Come Back To Me

" So that's it? That's the end of us? You're just leaving me? Here?" 

"You don't deserve to even have known me Micheal." you hold up your head and look me in the eye. The phrase felt like a cold blade going through my heart. I exhaled deeply blinking back tears, the breath froze instantly and disappeared into the snowy night air.

"Alyssa I'm sor.."

"No you're not. You made it clear you love her. I mean, you are in a relationship with her right?" She seemed to laugh off the last part in a chuckle, in an attempt to hide her hurt.

"Alyssa it's not like that, it's just..."

"Just what? Micheal. Just what?"

"It's complicated." I sighed turning away.

"Well take your complication elsewhere... Just not here." Alyssa said turning and walking away. I could only watch in tears as she became a blur and a fade. The only thing I had to remember her by now were the footprints in snow, that turned away from me. I sniffled and tried to regain myself. I went for a very long walk that night. 

I left the pub where I had asked her to meet me and headed for the bus stop home. I passed the Balcony Restaurant; the place where I first asked her out to. I looked up the balcony from the distance off where I stood. At the table where we sat that time, I saw a couple having dinner. The lady was pleasantly enjoying the night and the gentleman seemed to be nervous about something.

I watched as he got up and he said something to her, he was feeling and searching his pockets as if he had lost something. She got up and helped him, she backed him and searched the balcony rail, he seemingly was searching the ground. Her eyes seemed to have caught on something, she shuffled through the snow and picked up a glistening ring. She turned around and there he was on his knees, little talk was made between them. Her hands were up to her face, they seemed to both have tears in their eyes. She was shaking her head up and down and from where I was, I heard the faint cry of the word yes. I watched as she crashed into his arms and they embraced. Tears came to my eyes so I walked off.

I remember the time in summer I had asked Alyssa out to a picnic with me, at the time I wanted to propose to her. I had placed a trail of rose petals to the picnic area, and in the middle was the picnic basket, but with the ring inside. We hadn't even gotten out of the car good enough when she was called back to work.

I shook the memory from thought as I continued walking, I huddled tightly in my jacket. I passed the boardwalk by the river, a couple was there eating cotton candy and watching the city lights on the other side of the river. They stole kisses from each other at certain moments, and would burst out in laughter with each method of trial.

That took me back to the night I was on my way home from classes and I ran into her here. She was to be waiting on her friend to take her home, so I decided to wait a while. After little talk, she called her friend and said she'd go home with me. We went for some coffee and chatted for a while; a coffee shop that overlooked the same river, we spent a couple hours and enjoyed each others company. I recalled how she smiled whenever we joked; she would blush and roll her eyes at my idiocy and look away. I would hold her chin and guide her to look at me and she would try her hardest not to look, then stare at me with the most beautiful stare that was meant to pierce my heart.

I looked at my watch and noticed it was soon time for my bus. I tucked my face into my chest and walked along. When the stop was in sight I noticed someone else there sitting, good at least my bus hadn't gone. On the bright side, I also wasn't the only one alone tonight. As I made my way there I noticed someone walking there also. The person sitting noticed them and stood up, it was a man and he made his way over to the silhouette which became a woman. They embraced in the cold, kissed  and held hands as they walked off.

I couldn't help it anymore. I love Alyssa, she is the one I need, she is the one I fell in love with. She was always there, and as much as I tried to be there with her, I couldn't ... no, I wasn't. I turned around on my heels and began running, tears were in my eyes as I ran, but I didn't care. Who I needed to care about wasn't here. I was going to find her, I was going to get her, I was going to keep her, I am going to love her. Love her harder than I ever had before. She stood by me, now I am to stand by her. 

Forget what happened, that was a mistake and in the past. Alyssa is my future, she's the one I want to call my own. I passed the boardwalk, I ran past the Restaurant. I probably should've cared that tears were in my eyes, I fell and got a coat full of snow. It shocked me to reality, Alyssa never left, she's here in my heart, I was the one who physically pushed her away. 

I threw off my coat and burst into full flight. I was wet with the snow, tired past exhaustion but love kept me going. Alyssa kept me coming. I passed the pub where we were, the snow covering the footprints now of the past. I had just near 2 kilometers more to run, I wasn't stopping.

I finally reached her apartment building, the lights in her rooms were still on. I burst through the door and ran up to her room. 3 flights to go, I was doggone and gone tired, but I finally got to her door. My adrenaline probably wore off then because just as I knocked on the door I collapsed. Alyssa did answer the door.

"What the hell Micheal!?" she bent over and touched my head.

"Like what the hell!!? You are wet man!" 

"Alyssa." I raised my hand and touched her cheek, it was so warm. I knew my hand would be cold on her cheek but she didn't move.

"Alyssa I love you. I loved you from the moment we met, I loved you even then, I love you now." I was practically gasping for air as I spoke. I looked such a mess and it was embarrassing to be near her like this.

"Micheal you need to get up." she got up, I thought she was going to shut the door on me, so somehow I sprung up and stood before her.

"You're a mess, you have no right to be here, and I'm not just gonna forgive you because you poured water all over yourself ... you're such an idiot you know?" she leaned on the door post. She was gonna continue but I spoke up.

"I know I done you wrong and I done you bad. I know it'd take an eternity for you to forgive me, but, I want to take that eternity." Alyssa was about to speak again, but...

" I love you Alyssa." and I slowly approached her and pressed my lips against hers. It took a while before I felt her put a little pressure back, she still hadn't forgiven me, but that was what I was here for.