I Am Not the Last Airbender {ON HOLD}

Chapter Twenty-One

Okay, nobody kill me...

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Danggit. I hated awkward situations. I did not handle them well.

Macco was staring intently at me with those big brown eyes, desperately waiting for me to say something else. "Oh" wasn't a suitable answer, apparently. Oh gosh, how could I not have known! And how could I break his heart? I had just been thinking about how great of a 'brother' he was, not boyfriend!

"Jay," he said quietly, his eyes begging me to answer, "please say something."

Maybe I could skirt around the fact that I was about to turn him down. But...ug! I felt so horrible, my heart sinking with every moment that passed. I could see his sinking too; it was lowering in his eyes with every second I didn't answer him. I probably had a pretty confused look on my face, as well.

How could I say it without hurting him? He had already done so much for me. He left home for me. He took a burn for me. And what had I done from him? Besides teasing him, setting him up with a murderous master, and almost getting him killed more than once? I made breakfast...every once in awhile. Wow, was I a terrible person or what?

So, instead of being blunt, I said, "Well, I'm having a little trouble seeing why you would say that." I said it, and then I realized that it sounded sort of like I was fishing for compliments. "I mean, I...uh--"

"It's okay," he said with a sigh. "I didn't expect you to jump up and randomly tell your weird best friend that you liked him, too."

"You're not weird," I said softly. He smiled a small smile at me. "You're CRAZY!" He laughed. Phew, I made him laugh. The tension in the air had been trying to strangle me.

Then he stopped laughing and looked at the ground, probably realizing that I had avoided answering his question. He seemed even sadder now. I shouldn't have tried so hard. I should have just stuck with my gut...okay, maybe not my gut, because my gut was telling me that it was nearing lunchtime. But maybe my heart. And my heart was telling me that even if I didn't like Macco the way he liked me, I still cared about him immensely. Trying to avoid what had been said already was just going to make it work. So, I tried again. It was time to give up part of myself to him after he had shared himself with me.

"Macco, you are the best friend I could ever have. You're even better than any friend I could have asked for. I know I tease you a lot and make fun of you. I tease you because I already know you care about me and because you already know I care about you. Lame excuse for years of torture, I know. You're just so much of a better person than me. I don't even know how to thank you for coming with me here and for--"

"Jay," he whispered, looking into my eyes. Deep into my eyes. For a moment it was just his gorgeous brown on my blue and I wished for a moment that I could make myself think of him as more than a friend just so that I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already had...

But when he closed those eyes and began to lean in, I leaned away. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. And it made me feel guilty and horrible, but that would have been the worst lie I never told: kissing him and not meaning it.

Then, he opened his eyes and looked away, ashamed. I could feel heat rising to my cheeks and a pink blush was forming on his.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, my voice surprisingly raspy.

"Don't be sorry for what you don't feel, Jalia," he said, looking back at me with a sad smile.

We sat there on that rock for a minute, him staring ahead, and me staring at my shoes. The silence was killing me. So, I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but before I could, a noise came from not too far away. It was the sound of light footsteps on a rocky road. Little stones clinked together, and as each step seemed to grow closer, my heart rate increased. I froze.

Macco grabbed my arm, snapping me out of it. He pulled me down and we crouched behind the boulder we had been having our heart-to-heart on. It was probably some villager out for a stroll in the woods. But for some reason, I was a mess. I had faced worse, been in much more frightening positions and barely broken a sweat. But for some reason all I could think about was a Fire Nation soldier bearing down on us, and a fireball hurtling towards my face, my hands motionless at my sides, defenseless. It was as if I could feel the heat of it already...or maybe that was just the heat radiating off of Macco beside me.

What was my problem? But I came to my senses, at least a little bit, and uncorked the water pouch at my hip. My hand then hovered just above the opening, waiting in case I had to use it.

The footsteps were close now. Then, they stopped. I held my breath, hoping that whoever it was would just walk on, thinking whatever noise they heard was just a bird. The footsteps continued, though, and this time they sounded different--it was the sound of sandals scuffling along grass. Whoever it was, they were coming straight towards our not-so-super hiding place. I turned and looked at Macco, my eyes wide. But he didn't look back. He was too busy staring past me as the shadow of a person was cast over me.

Slowly, I turned back around.

"Hello," they said.

"Jaacob," I whispered.