I Am Not the Last Airbender {ON HOLD}

Chapter Twenty-Three

            The sun was steadily setting, almost out of sight.  So, we postponed our village visit and set up camp farther from the beaten path.  I was totally helpless and I felt terrible.  Macco had to set up everything.  He’d tied Jaacob’s hands and feet; we didn’t trust him, not after everything he’d done.  But I was still a wreck.  I sat on a stump and stared at the fire.  The flames jumped and twisted, bending, flashing, burning.  They distracted me for at least an hour.  Even in the heat of the campfire, though, I began to shiver, coldness seeping through my flesh and deep into the bone.  My insides felt like they were turning to icicles.  My heart was frozen solid as a stone.  It barely beat.

            Macco noticed my shivering after a while, and draped a quilt around my shoulders.  I looked at it, fingering the patterns. 

            “Mum’s,” I said.

            “Yeah,” Macco smiled, “she told me to pack it.”

            “What?” I exclaimed, surprised.  Mum didn’t know we were leaving!

            “A few days before we left, she gave me this and said to give it to you when the time was right.”

            I tried to process what he’d just said, “So, she knew?”

            He nodded.  We feel into silence again, staring at the flames.  Then, he broke it again.

            “What are you thinking about, Jay?”

            “I’m thinking about when my mum went on her adventures and the time that she ran into the blood-bender.”  Macco was quiet, letting me continue.  “Once Mum learned to blood-bend, she felt like the most inhumane being in all the Nations.  I didn’t think I’d ever do something so horrible like that, so I’d never know how that felt.  But I was wrong.  I’m beginning to understand how she felt.”

            Macco came and sat next to me, looking into my face.  “You didn’t do it, though.  You didn’t go through with it, Jay.  You stopped yourself.  That takes an incredibly strong person.”

            I began to cry again.  “No, you stopped me, Macco.  I couldn’t do anything.  I feel…I’m so weak.”

            “Jay,” he wrapped his arms around me, “You’re not weak.  Everyone has those moments where their emotions take control of them.  It’s normal.  Being upset or crying doesn’t make you weak.”

            “But I’m supposed to be the strong one!” I cried out.

            “You don’t always have to be the stony-faced Jalia.  Putting up a tough front isn’t always going to protect you.  Having emotions won’t make people think any less of you.  Actually, I’ve always liked the softer Jalia better,” his voice got quieter.

            “Really?” I whispered with teary eyes.

            “Yeah,” he sort of chuckled.

            I smiled at him.  “Thank you for coming with me.  I wouldn’t have gotten very far on my own.”

            “Are you going to be okay to continue?  We can always go back home if you want.”

            “No,” I said firmly, “I can’t go home and face my parents until I’ve done something worthwhile.  We need to figure out what Jaacob knows about airbenders in Ba Sing Se.”

            “Okay,” Macco smiled in agreement.  He hugged me tighter.

            The orange flames flickered before us, waving in the subtle breeze.  Jaacob was lying on the ground, not too far away.  Macco and I sat on our respective stumps.

            And that was how I fell asleep, wrapped in my best friend’s arms, his lips pressed against the top of my head as the fire danced shadows across our faces.