Everything You Never Knew : Secrets

Chapter 5

Rachel pulled into her driveway and turned off the ignition with dead motions, her eyes staring blankly in front of her and taking in nothing. The things she saw were behind her eyes, inside of her mind. A memory began to replay itself with such detailed accuracy it felt like she was physically there, all over again.

Freshman year was life-changing. From the moment Rachel met Ashley she felt protective of her. Ashley was shy, sensitive, and so sweet. In an ideal world, she would have been adored by everyone that knew her but fourteen-year-olds could be cruel. Ashley was also a conundrum. She would bravely stand on the school's stage with her guitar and play a song she wrote herself, but when she had to stand in front of a class of twenty and give a speech on something impersonal, such as a historical event she was supposed to have researched, she would get nervous and her voice would squeak. She only seemed to be able to find her bravery when it came to her music. Her blond, silky flowing hair, fair crystal-clear skin, deep bright blue eyes and full, pink lips made her easily the most beautiful girl Rachel had ever seen. Unlike some of the other girls in their class who thought they were hot stuff, Ashley didn't seem to have any idea she was beautiful. If a boy showed even the tiniest interest in her she'd be completely perplexed and nervous. She'd cling to Rachel and tell her she was scared it was some kind of joke.

Toward the end of their Freshman year a boy named Jake Abrams asked Ashley to the Spring Fling. Boys never seemed to ask Rachel to dances but she really didn't mind. It wasn't as if Rachel wasn't pretty, but she simply wasn't one of those flighty girls who took the time to master the hair-toss. She didn't giggle at a guy's jokes if they weren't funny and she didn't wear skirts that were so short that she would risk mooning people if she bent over. She rarely bothered with make-up other than the occasional cover-up for a zit here and there and she preferred comfortable tennis shoes to a high heel every day of the week. She figured if someone didn't like her for who she was then that person wasn't worth it, a lesson most girls didn't learn until years later but Rachel had always considered herself more mature and clued-in than others her age. Maybe that should have been a hint to Rachel about her sexuality, but at fourteen she wasn't quite ready to accept herself as gay yet, or even realize the truth of it.

That was just another reason Rachel was so protective over Ashley. Ashley had many talents Rachel didn't share but of the two, Rachel was wiser and she couldn't stand the thought of Ashley getting hurt.

Jake Abrams was gorgeous. He was known to be mysterious with his longish black hair that often hung in his eyes, the way he never really looked directly at anyone yet when he smiled he could melt even the thickest iceberg in the ocean. He reminded Rachel of a younger Jared Leto. He often sat alone. He was addicted to his headphones and he picked at his cuticles but he didn't give off a vibe of shyness or insecurity. It was more accurate to assume no one in the school could hold his interest and he seemed okay with being distant and a loner. Of course, at the age they were, those qualities made him intriguing and desirable. Rachel knew Ashley had a crush on him. Ashley was many things but subtle wasn't one of them. If Jake was in eyesight Ashley would turn toward him, her gaze fixated on the tiniest of his movements and no matter what Rachel said or did she couldn't seem to capture her friend's attention. She didn't say it out loud but she felt Ashley was completely wasting her time. There was no way Jake was going to be interested in her,, but only because because he wasn't interested in anybody. There was also the fact that while Ashley could stare at him for hours, she could never seem to find the courage to approach him and start a conversation. Jake was obviously into music so its not like Ashley could use the excuse of having no idea what subject matter to bring up. She was just simply, chronically shy.

One day in the Spring during lunch-hour at school while Ashley and Rachel were splitting a ham and cheese bagel and downing their vitamin waters, Jake suddenly stood up from the table he'd been sitting alone at and briskly strode toward them. Rachel hadn't noticed until a shadow covered the cap of her vitamin water. When she raised her eyebrows she was quite shocked, but Jake was turned toward Ashley and not Rachel, as if Rachel didn't exist. “So Ashley,” Jake began, and although he paused and lifted a hand to run his fingers through his black hair pulling it away from his eyes, his voice didn't sound nervous. “I was wondering if you'd want to go to Spring Fling with me.” It was a statement rather than a question, as if he was just telling her what to do instead of asking her if she wanted to go. In all the times Rachel watched Ashley watching Jake he never seemed to notice or care so Rachel was very surprised that he seemed completely aware of the fact that Ashley would want to go with him. Or, maybe she was right all along, and Jake hadn't noticed Ashley noticing him and he was just so arrogant he thought a girl wouldn't turn him down.