Escaping Life

The Rumors

She wasn't ok.

She doesn't think she ever will be.

Her mom asks when this started and she says she doesn't know, she doesn't remember.

It's all she's ever known.

She's even more terrified now, because her mom knows now.

She didn't want her family to find out.

People will now thinks she's an even bigger attention seeker.

Her mom tries to comfort her, but nothing can.

No type of glue can fix her.

It's too late.

Her mom assures her it'll all be ok, but will it?

Will it really?

She makes her mom promise not to tell her dad, even though she hardly knows him.

Her parents are divorced, and she doesn't live with him.

She just wants to be alone.

She doesn't have any friends that could have helped her, everyone was against her.

She used to have one friend.

She cut too.

They weren't that great of friends.

She wished she was now though.

That girl killed herself around a year ago.

People used to call them the psycho friends, because they were both depressed and cut.

She just couldn't take it anymore.

She had it worse, and eventually gave up.

She hung herself.

It was really hard for awhile.

She had it really bad when she died.

Everyone would say that her only friend was gone. She was a freak. Things like that.

Her mom wants to tell the principal how mean the people are being.

But she tells her no, because she knows that will only make it worse.

She said it was getting late, and they would talk about it tomorrow.

So she turns off the light, and the voices are back.

The next morning she wakes up, as always, her pillow is pretty wet.

She cries in her sleep, because she has nightmares about it too.

She's woken up multiple times in her life bawling her eyes out.

She gets up to get ready, worried that her mom will want her to get help or something like that.

Maybe her mom will think she's a freak too.

A fairy tale life.

No.

Far from it.

Her mom was completely wrong.

Didn't she think something was weird when her daughter didn't even want a sweet 16 party a few months ago?

Didn't she find it weird she was never texting her friends, or having sleepovers?

Guess she didn't really notice.

Or didn't really care.

She applies her usual light makeup, trying to make herself look pretty even though she knows no one will think so.

She puts her hair in a messy bun.

She puts on some jeans and a black t-shirt, throwing a black hoodie on top to hide her scars.

And off she goes to her own torture chamber, or at least that's how she feels.

She gets called bad things as she walks the halls so dead looking and feeling.

She doesn't feel any tears coming.

She just feels lifeless.

She just keeps walking.

At school, she doesn't feel any tears. They have all dried. Once she gets home is when it hits her.

But at school it's a different kind of pain.

At one point it gets so hot in the school, she rolls up her sleeves not thinking for even a moment.

A popular sees the cuts and says

'Aww, what happened? Did the cat scratch you?' in a mocking way.

She quickly rolls her sleeves down and tries to ignore the comment.

But it's too late.

Everyone's gonna find out.

They probably already knew, but now they saw the cuts.

And she just knows there will be a lot of messages about it when she gets home.

She feels like some sort of zoo animal, everyone watching her every move.

She gets home later, and her mom is waiting right in the living room when she arrives.

She asks if that's why she hasn't been eating.

She knows there is no way of lying her way out of it, her mom already knows.

So she says yes, and her mom makes her eat.

She barely does, and after she goes upstairs and throws up the little bit she ate.

She hates being this way.

She goes on her laptop.

Oh there's a new rumor, it says that she sleeps around.

She tries not to cry.

She tries, but she can't help it.

Her tears start pouring out, and her vision is blurry.

She cuts more, her wrists now being filled up.

She goes further up her arm, until finally she stops and goes back in her room.

She grabs for her laptop, but it isn't there.

She can't find it anywhere.

She goes downstairs and asks her mom if she took it.

Her mom says yes, that she doesn't need to be reading those things because it makes her worse.

She starts to cry and yells at her to give it to her.

Her mom is scared and worried and tells her no.

She starts to scream at her and she is crying so hard and telling her that she needs it and to give it to her.

Her mom says no and she eventually goes up to her room and slams the door.

She takes out her phone instead.

She scrolls through, reading things that say she's hooked up with so many guys, including the football team.

None of its true, but now it's spread everywhere.

She's crying and shaking, the pain in her wrists doesn't even compare to how she feels on the inside.

She finally goes to sleep, hoping that tomorrow will be better. Even though she knows its not true.