Escaping Life

The Voices

She sees the light streaming in the room and groggily opens her eyes.

She squints at the light streaming in the room from the window.

She looks around and finds, sitting on a chair by her bed, her sister sleeping.

'Lizzy?' she says, rubbing her eyes.

'What!' she jumps.

'Were you sitting here all night?' she asks.

'Yeah. I was making sure you were ok. Sorry, I fell asleep for a little bit.'

'You stayed up all night here? Making sure I was ok?'

'Yeah.'

'Why?'

'Because I don't want you to hurt yourself. So I stayed to make sure.'

'You didn't have to do that you know.'

'I know. But I wanted to. Just in case.' she says with a smile.

'Mom went to the store a little bit ago, she said to tell you she will be back soon.'

'Ok. I'm gonna take a shower.'

She looks at the clock.

Wow, it's a lot later than she thought it was. 2:30 pm it read.

She grabs some clothes out of the closet and goes in the bathroom.

She hops in the shower, feeling sleepy.

She always feels sleepy now.

Maybe it's the medicine she is taking.

She hums a little tune she doesn't even know.

She wishes it could always be this easy to get through life.

But the truth is, it isn't.

She knows sooner or later she will have to go back into school and face everyone.

She knows she will have to go back online, and look at all the hurtful messages that have built up in her feed over time.

She knows it will go back to the way it was before.

It always does, whenever things get better, reality hits her like a thousand knives.

And everything good crumbles.

She gets out of the shower, and wraps her hair up in a towel.

She gets dressed in some pajama shorts and a spaghetti strap top just to be at home.

She examines her wrists and looks at the scars.

They are still pretty deep, but she hasn't cut in a while.

She was in the hospital for almost a week, she was in bed the whole time.

She walks out of the bathroom and hurries downstairs.

She makes sure her sister is nowhere to be found, and she looks around, until she finds something that she has been dreading and wanting for a week.

The laptop.

The laptop that almost ended her life and gave her so much pain.

But the truth of the matter is, it wasn't the laptop's fault.

The laptop isn't a living thing.

The laptop is just a device that the real problem used to hurt her.

The real problem being, the people she thought were her friends.

She hesitantly grabs it and hurries back up to the bathroom.

She turns on the shower to make it seem like she's still in and sits down on the closed toilet seat.

She sets the laptop in her lap and opens it, logging into her twitter account.

She looks at the messages.

'Wow, I'm glad she's dead.'

'Good riddance.'

'Not going to that funeral.'

'She deserved it.'

'She was a who** anyways.'

'Nobody cares she's dead.'

'Haha, what a bi***'

'She's ridiculous. Such an attention seeker.'

'Bet you 20 bucks no one's going to that funeral.'

The voice is back.

The one in the back of her head telling her no one cares, telling her to kill herself.

She closes the laptop and curls up in a ball, shaking and crying.

The voices telling her to die, to do it, no one cares about her.

Everyone hates her.

And here she is, the one you thought was the happiest girl in the world.

She wasn't ok.

She isn't ok.

The ones who laughed the loudest have cried the hardest.