Escaping Life

The Eyes

And in that moment, she knew Dani meant it.

'I don't know how much longer I can hold on.' Dani says once everyone leaves the room.

'Why? What happened?'

'It's just been getting worse. People follow me around just to say mean things.'

'You have to hold on though. I need you here.'

Sarah walks in and they stop talking.

Sarah looks at some paperwork and leaves.

Her mom comes in and sits down and starts reading a book.

She and Dani talk for a bit.

Eventually Dani leaves and she doesn't really remember much.

She feels really drowsy and falls right to sleep.

Her time in the hospital is all a blur, and it seemed to zoom by.

Saturday comes, and she gets to go home.

She gets in the car and has a very silent trip home, not really talking to her mom.

'You get to stay out of school for a while, a week at least, maybe more.' her mom tells her.

'Ok.'

'Your sister and I will be keeping a close eye on you. And you are going back to support group.' she says.

'Mom please don't make me go back there.' she says, tears in her eyes, her voice coming out as a whisper.

'I hate it there.'

'You need to though. It's the only way.'

She doesn't speak to her the rest of the ride home, she stares out the window, and thinks.

Thinks about what all those people are thinking right now about her.

They probably think she's dead.

She hasn't been online since it happened.

She feels the urge to check her laptop.

She gets home and goes up to bed, her mom following her and tells her to lay down.

She takes some medicine and feels really drowsy, already feeling herself falling asleep.

When she wakes up she finds her sister sitting on a chair next to her bed, staring at her.

'What're you staring at?'

'You. I was making sure you were ok.'

'You have to constantly stare at me for that?'

'You're really pretty.' her sister says.

'What?' she's never heard anyone say that before, except her mom just being polite.

'I hope I can be as pretty as you when I'm older.' she says.

'I'm not pretty.' she says.

'Yes you are.' Lizzy says.

'Why don't you like yourself when you're pretty?'

'I'm not pretty though. Other people don't think I'm pretty. I'm not.'

'I think you're pretty.'

'But you're just a little girl. You don't know.'

She stands up to go downstairs.

Her sister stands up too.

She starts walking towards the door, her sister following.

'Why did you want to die?' she says, her voice cracking.

She turns around and tears fill her sister's eyes.

'Why are you crying?'

'Why did you want to die? I don't want you to die. I want you to stay here with me.'

She sits back on the bed.

'I'm not dead.' she says, not daring to look at her sister, she just knows she will break I she sees her.

'You wanted to die. Why? Why didn't you want to stay with me? Did I do something wrong?' her little sister says, a tear rolling down her cheek.

'No. It was other people that made me want to die. They are mean to me, and I couldn't take it anymore. Dying was the only escape.' she says, looking down at her hands, her now crying.

'Nobody likes me. Everyone hates me and wants me to die.' her voice a whisper as tears roll down her cheeks.

'But I love you.'

She could feel her eyes getting heavy, wanting to fall asleep.

She checks the time, 8:30 pm.

She lays down and her sister sits in the chair watching.

Her sister watches down on her, and her eyes eventually shut.