Nobody knew before.
Nobody knew she was sad.
Nobody knew she cut.
Nobody knew she was depressed.
Nobody knew she was suicidal.
Nobody knew she hated her life.
Nobody knew who she really was.
Nobody knew.
Depression isn't always that girl that's crying in the bathroom or the boy that is always wearing long sleeves. It isn't always suicidal notes and pill bottles. Sometimes it's all smiles and good grades. Sometimes it's the boy that's always helpful and the girl you always borrow things from.
Depression isn't always that easy to notice.
Her parents didn't know.
None of her family did.
No one else did. Except the people that were the cause.
And all these people that are depressed, or cut, all the people that have, or have tried to commit.
All they needed was a smile.
All they needed was a hello, or a compliment.
But you were too busy.
You were in a hurry.
All they needed was a smile to save their life.
And you didn't give it to them.
But it's too late.
They ended it, because of something mean you said, trying to be more popular.
Trying to make yourself feel good.
'It was just a joke' but it wasn't.
Calling someone mean names and constantly harassing someone, is not a joke.
Suicide is stupid?
Do you want to know what's stupid?
Making someone feel so bad about themself, so horrible and insecure, that they feel the only escape is to end their life.
To die.
She eventually sits up after 2 hours.
2 hours of lifelessness.
2 hours of thinking and crying and yelling.
She's breathing, but she's not alive.
She gets up and goes to the car.
She sits down and shuts the door, crying.
She bangs her head on the steering wheel.
It is pouring down rain.
She doesn't want to go home.
She doesn't feel like being around anyone.
She wants to be alone for one night.
She doesn't feel like being interrogated by her mom.
She wishes she could just stay the night at a hotel.
Somewhere.
Somewhere she could be alone.
But, she knows that, in reality, she has to go home, she has to face her mom, and she has to go back to school at some point.
So she reluctantly starts the ignition and drives.
Her vision was so blurry from the tears, she could barely see the painted lines on the road.
She immediately rushes up to her room, really not wanting to talk to anyone.
And her calmness and peacefulness is completely shattered when she hears a small knocking on the door.
She tells the person knocking to go away.
The knocking just continues.
'Go away! I want to be alone! I'm tired!' she yells to the person, who continues the knocking.
'What do you want?!' she yells.
The knocking just continues.
They aren't going to stop until she tells them to come in.
'Fine! Come in!' she says.
The door slowly opens, to reveal someone she hasn't seen in years, and her mouth drops.
She literally doesn't know what to think.
Why is he here?
Why now?
'H- hi Dad.' she says, still in a shocked state of mind.
'How are you doing?' he asks nervously, slowly coming in the door.
'Fine.' she says blankly.
He lets out a huge breath of air.
'I know what happened. All of it.' He says, looking down.
'How- '
'Your mom told me.' he says, answering her question before she even got to finish.
She feels tears coming.
'So you must think I'm a freak now too huh?' she whispers, looking down at her hands as she sits on the bed.
'What? No, I absolutely don't.' he says, sitting down on the bed.
'I think that you are a beautiful, strong girl. Those people have no right to judge you.'
'Thanks Dad.'
She hasn't seen him since she was 8 years old.
It's been 8 years since she has seen him.
And yet, it feels like, in this moment, she has a father again.
YOU ARE READING
Escaping Life
RandomShe lived a life she didn't want. She hated herself and everyone around her. She cut herself. She didn't want to feel that way. She didn't want to be alive.
