Dear Camila,
I always wished that I was as close to Taylor as you were with your sister Sofia. It was clear to see that you both had nothing but pure love and respect for each other, and I admired that about you guys.
Me and Taylor often fought with each other about stupid little things like who got the biggest pizza slices, what movie to watch next, and who got the bathroom first in the morning.
We just didn't Have the closest relationship.
But you and Sofia did.
If I hadn't known you personally and knew how old you were, I would have probably thought that Sofia was your kid, just by the way you treated her. You always protected her and tried to give her everything she wanted and needed, and when you couldn't you always made it up to her.
She was the light in your life and you were hers.
You and I were at my house one Sunday evening after we had graduated from college. We were justlaying around in my bed, goofing off.
You were straddling my hips while we were currently in a heated make out session. You had your hands under my shirt, playing with the edge of my bra cup and another hand drawing circles on my waist. My hands rested on your hips as we continued kissing.
You stopped playing with my bra and settled your hands on my zipper, pulling it down. I stared at you as you continued to do so. You had my pants almost halfway down when your phone started ringing. You groaned and sat up.
"Stay" I remember you saying to me as I squirmed impatiently and groaned.
"Seriously? Can't anyone leave us alone while we're trying to have some peace and quiet?" I said inannoyance. I had to admit, I was super sexually frustrated at the time.
You picked up your phone and put it to your ear. "Hello" You said.
You listened quietly before running your hand through your long messy locks. 'Mom, slow down. I can't hear what you're saying...Is everything alright...What!...Y-you're joking right?...No!" By this time you were sobbing.
You didn't even get to finish your call because you dropped your phone on the floor by my bed before turning to me. "Babe, what's wrong?" I asked you as I held you close.
It turns out that Sofia had gone out to ride her bike in the park and had gotten hit by a car. By the time the ambulance had arrived she had been dead for at least ten minutes. They weren't able to save her.
I remember holding you close to me that night as you soaked my favorite shirt in tears. You were such a wreck, Camila. I had never seen you this way before. The last time I had seen you cry was the night we had broken up and at this time when your sister died that had been at least two years ago. But this time your tears were worse and it was almost hard for you to breath, and I could tell by the way you were gasping for air with each sob.
When we went to Sofia's funeral, you refused to speak in front of everyone, even though you had spent at least a week writing down what you were going to say. So I stood up and spoke for you. I stood up and read that ten page speech as you sat up front and looked at me with love and sadness.
In the letter, you spoke of all the great times you had with your sister, but at the end one part stood out to me. It read "If you have a sister and she dies, do you stop saying you have one? Or are you always a sister, even when the other half of the equation is gone"
I almost cried when I read those words out loud because I knew those words. I knew where they were from because often times you would read me books when I came over to your house. I would lay on the couch, tired from the day of work and you would read me a book. I never stopped you because I loved the way you spoke those poetic words. They made you seem more of an angel than you already were.
I never was a religious person myself, but you were and so was Sofia. I really believed that Sofia was anangel. How could she not be? She was sweet and loving just like you. But you were an angel on earth.
You were my angel.
Sincerely,
Lauren Jauregui
