Dear Camila,
Your funeral was nice. Lots of people showed up. Each of them cared for you. Each of them had been touched by the light of your smile like I had, except they hadn't been touched as hard and as deep as you had touched me.
When it was time to bury you, I looked down in your casket and smiled with tears in my eyes. I was smiling because you looked exactly like you had looked the first time I had seen you at that Ed Sheeran concert. You looked so peaceful.
That was the way I remembered you when you came into my life, and now that was the way I was going to remember you leaving my life. My heart broke inside. Although you lived such a short life for my liking, at least I knew that you lived long enough to make those memories that I had with you to last forever.
Before they lowered you below into the ground six feet deep, I slipped a picture of me and you into your hand as it rested on your stomach. I leaned in and kissed your soft cold cheek and whispered into your ear even though you couldn't hear me. "I promised you death do us part, remember?"
I did promise.
And I did keep it.
I'm 75 now, Camila. You would be 74 if you were still here. Oh how I wish you were here. You would love life right now. You would love all the new romantic novels that have come out. You would love all the new chick flicks and you would love our family.
Finn grew up to be a doctor. He took your death the hardest out of all our children and he told me that your death inspired and ignited a flame inside him to help others like you so they wouldn't have to suffer as hard. He's married now and is the top doctor in Miami.
Bella grew up to be a dancer. She's really good. She even teaches students at the YMCA. She has twokids she adopted. She found out that she wasn't able to have kids after trying with her ex husband manymany times. She adopted Aiden, a cute little kid originally from Japan, and Alyssa who came from a drugfilled home.
Camren grew up to be an American sign language interpreter. He has a little boy named Alex who turned out to be deaf. He started learning just for him. He signs beautifully. In his free time, he makes interpreted music videos for YouTube for deaf kids.
Sofi grew up to be a vet technician. She's so great with animal. She's married to a wonderful husband and they have four kids. Tessa, Andrew, Anthony and finally...Karla. I told her the story of how she got her name after you died. She felt that she should keep it going and name her child after you. Sofi really does look like you. She looks EXACTLY like you, and it scares me because it seems like I am staringstraight at you. It's almost as if you are alive again, and in a way I guess you are. You're alive in all these kids and grandkids. You're alive in the pictures I look at. You're alive in the home videos I watch. You're alive in the Ed Sheeran shirt I have hung up in my closet. You're alive in my memories. You're alive in my heart.
You have no idea how much I miss you, Camila.
One thing I learned in the journey I made with you through this love story of ours, is that sometimes life can be cliché. Sometimes it can be exactly like it seems in the books and the movies and it can be the way it is in a song. I didn't believe at first, but I do now.
I still have your collection of romantic novels. I've been reading all of them in your memory. I wish I had started reading them sooner because I am hooked. We had moments like they did, except ours were sweeter, realer and much more meaningful.
I can't wait to see again one day, but I think right now I'll just enjoy time with our kids. I long to feel your hair again. To kiss your lips again and stare into those puppy dog eyes of yours. I long to feel your skin again. I long to hear your voice again after so long.
But for now I'll wait until my time is up and enjoy life here with my family. I'll watch our grandkids get older. I'll read those books of yours. I'll search for your perfume and your Chap Stick brand. And I'll sit here and relive those moments with you in my mind.
But until then, I love you to the moon and back.
Sincerely,
Lauren Jauregui
