Dear Camila,
I had never in my life ever thought of myself wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone. In fact, I had completely brushed off the idea of marriage all together when I was younger. I swore to myself after several really bad heart breaks that I was going to die alone and be buried in a graveyard with thirty two cats.
But then I met you.
After I got out of the hospital I spent a whole year thinking of a way to propose to you. I just couldn't picture myself without you in my life, because in that short time that we spent broken up in college, my life was so miserable that I often asked myself how I had managed to live this long without you. And I also couldn't imagine myself marrying someone that wasn't you. You were the only person I could ever see myself marrying.
I tried looking online to find a romantic but special way to propose to you. I especially wanted it romantic. I wanted it to be as close as I could get it to something from a movie or from a fairytale, because that's the kind of person you were. You enjoyed those things, so I had to at least try to make them a reality.
The problem with the internet though was the fact that none of the ideas were anywhere near perfect. They weren't special or very romantic. They didn't fit the person you were or the person I was or the goal I was trying to reach. So I realized I had to think hard and come up with the idea myself if I wanted it to be successful.
It was Christmas morning and we were at your parents' house to spend the holiday with them. I liked being at your parents' house. It was always so comforting and they always accepted me in with open arms. They treated me like I was part of the family, even though I wasn't yet.
It was just us, your parents and all the girls. They had spent a night here with us the night before, because they wanted to see your reaction when I proposed to you. I told your parents as well. Because it was the right thing to do and I knew your father was old fashioned I asked him months before if I could have his blessing to propose to you. He didn't say a word when I asked him. He simply just smiled and pulled me into a giant bone crushing hug. I took that as a yes.
Everyone was opening their presents until they all got one last present. You sat beside me on the couch and held my hand while everyone was opening a present except you.
You would never in a million years admit it, but you felt a little upset that you were the only one not opening a present. I could see it in your eyes.
I just chuckled to myself because little did you know what I had planned for you.
After everyone had opened up the last of their gifts and had taken a moment to settle down, I told you I had to go to the bathroom. I was lying. Instead of going to the bathroom, I snuck off to your room where our stuff was in our duffle bags. I grabbed your neatly wrapped gift and I swore that I almost passed out
right then and there. My hands were shaking and legs suddenly became weak. But I sucked it up and found the strength to walk myself back to the living room and sit beside you again.
"I-I uh...I forgot to give you one more gift" I told you nervously.
You smiled at me and took it gently from my hands. You were careful to unwrap the present and reveal a book. It was a book that you had already had, but I bought it anyway. It was Great Expectations.
"Babe, I already have this" You told me with a gleam in your eyes "But I appreciate it still"
I smirked at you and touched your hand gently. "Open it, Babe"
You raised an eyebrow and gave me that cute little face you always made when you were confused. I had memorized it so well from all the times I sat with you in math seven years ago. You never caught me doing it, but I would purposely sit North West so I could watch you as you solved each and every math problem. Your confused face had always been my favorite.
You opened the book up and flipped the first cover page. Right smack in the middle of the book was a large chunk of the book missing. It was cut into a square and in that square, on a yellow silk fabric with the words written at the top of the page "Will you marry me" sat a diamond ring. It was bright silver.
Your eyes widened and your mouth fell open. Not all the way, but your mouth made a small O shape. You looked back up at me and closed your mouth and gave me a wide face eating grin. I noticed that your eyes started to fill with tears before you wrapped your arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. You buried you face into the crook of my neck as you sobbed in happiness.
"Yes" You answered.
Everyone clapped and your mom showed us the video that she had filmed with her new high tech phone.
We spent the rest of the day cuddled up next to each other. I noticed that you weren't able to take your eyes off of your ring for more than five minutes. You would look down at it and fidget with it and ask me if it was real.
I leaned in close and whispered in your ear "Yes"
I never did tell you why I chose Great Expectations as the book to propose to you with. I chose it because I often found you watching pretty little liars late at night when I would drag myself in tired and exhausted. I came in one night and sat down beside you as you were watching one particular episode. It came to the scene where Emily kissed Alison after she had read that famous line from Great expectations.
"That's us" You told me "That line describes you. It describes how much I love you."
I smiled and had laced our fingers together. "And it describes how much I love you"
You leaned your head on my shoulder and went back to watching the show. When it suddenly became quiet in one scene you breathed out "That quote describes our story, I think"
So chose it because it was our story as you liked to call it. But I mostly chose it because it describes how I feel about you.
Sincerely,
Lauren Jauregui
