Corn, Cows, and the Apocalypse

Karma Smack and Other Such Lessons from the Universe

It was the church.

I knew it even before I jumped down and climbed into the cab. Before I could start the engine, Devin pushed me aside and took over. Haden got back in the cab beside me, and I heard August land in the truck box.

Devin sped out with as much vigor as I wanted him to. He made the highway turn into a thin line with the speed he peaked at. On the last bit of gravel road he fishtailed, but was never out of control. I instinctively grabbed Haden's leg as if I could hold her down if the truck rolled. I must have been pinching her, because she pried my fingers off and held onto them until we reached the inferno.

I jumped out of the truck just behind Devin, taking in the little white church engulfed in flames. The smell of gasoline was still present under the smell of burnt wood. This fire was intentional. Priest had planned to burn on Earth and in hell.

I lunged forward and Devin misinterpreted my rage as grief. Even if I was stupid enough to enter a burning building, the extreme heat of the fire would have kept me away. I strained against Devin's arms. "You can't save him! He's gone!" he yelled over the roar of the fire.

"I know!" I growled, twisting loose of his grip. I picked up some rocks from the gravel drive and threw them at the building. Most of the stained glass was already broken, but I managed to get a few clinks of breakage. "You son of a bitch!"

I yelled a long string of profanities that were in part for him and in part for me. I had trusted him to be there for me and he wasn't. I was being kicked out of my own family and I had no one to turn to.

I turned back and found the blanketed alarm on everyone's faces. They expected that this would be the straw that would break me. It was, but not in the way that they thought.

I laughed, trying to lighten the mood. "Boy, you just can't get a good return on the hero gig, can you? I mean really, what did I get for my time and effort, three weeks?"

I walked away to focus my mind. I was panicking and I wasn't sure how to stop it. I could take being beaten. I could take being subjected to Priest's rhetoric. What I couldn't take was being alone.

I could abide anything, but being alone.

I started to hyperventilate, so I sat down in the grass off the side of the drive to concentrate on breathing. August joined me. She misinterpreted my panic attack as a response to losing Priest. He might have started the spiral, but there were several more layers to my reactions.

August sat down beside me and rested her forehead on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Lenore. I tried to warn you. He was just so unstable."

"Please, don't leave me." My voice cracked into tears. August was surprised by my baseless presumption, but her eyes dawned with understanding. "I'll do anything you want. Just don't leave me. I don't want to be alone. I can't be alone."

August pulled my chin up and caressed my cheek. "I should have asked you what you wanted before I dragged you into all this. A reluctant hero is not much of a hero."

"I won't fight you anymore, I promise."

"It's not me you're fighting, it's yourself. You have to trust yourself. Trust your instincts. Don't be afraid to be someone important."

I wasn't sure what that meant, but as long as she wasn't kicking me out, I was content to figure it out as I went.