Corn, Cows, and the Apocalypse

Sunshine and Other Natural Remedies

Priest took in a deep breath as we sat looking over the pond just behind his gardens. The silence must have been relaxing to him, but to me it was uncomfortable. He brought the strawberries with him, but hadn't offered them, so I was still waiting for snack time. The blanket we were lounging on was a tattered quilt that looked like it had a story. The smell indicated that it was an old story.

"I love this place," he said eventually. "I used to fish back here. I probably still could, if I could manage to stay sober."

"You need to get the hell out of here, Priest." I leaned back on the blanket to absorb the sun's warmth.

"What? Why?"

"You're like a divorced couple who insists on living together, when you clearly hate each other. You and God might be broken up, but it doesn't mean you should just hang out and continuously hurt each other. Just walk away. Let the festering pain of loss be healed by time and distance. Get a dog or something."

Priest laughed. It was the first time it didn't sound maniacal to me. "A dog instead of God, is that supposed to be meaningful?"

"No, I just like dogs."

"You have an interesting logic, Lenore." He leaned back on the blanket as well, resting on his side, facing me. "Honest, but simple." I shrugged in response. I wasn't sure if simple logic made me simpleminded, but I was sure it was meant as a compliment. "What about you? How are things going with your foursome?"

"We aren't a foursome. We are a group of friends."

"You're polygamists."

"Is that judgment I hear?" I tipped my head as if to better hear his answer.

"No," Priest quickly corrected.

"Life is just lonely. Taboos just don't matter right now. Besides, I'm not sleeping with Devin."

"You're not?" he asked incredulously.

"Why does that sound so strange to everyone?"

"Because I've seen how you look at him: puppy crush and then some."

"I guess I'm just more of a monogamist than I thought."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we just want what we want. Speaking of want, do you want the strawberries now?"

"It's about time," I said, reaching for the bowl as he brought it over.

"Uh-uh-uh," he said, pulling the bowl out of my grasp. "I still have to show you how to eat them."

"Open, insert, chew, chew, just gimme." I reached out my palm for an offering.

"Close your eyes," he said softly.

"What? No way, I'm not doing anything kinky."

He grimaced at that. "Have I ever acted inappropriately toward you?" he asked earnestly. I shook my head. "Have I ever hurt you?" I shook my head again, starting to feel sheepish. "Why would my being sober change that?"

I didn't bother answering. I just settled into the blanket and closed my eyes. I still didn't trust him and flinched when I felt his hand move across my body to place the bowl. "Relax, Lenore," he drawled. "I promise this isn't sexual, it's just savoring life."

When he asked me to open my mouth and I opened like a fish out of water, he laughed at me. "Not so big, just... forgive the description, but... just pretend you're about to kiss someone. Part your lips to receive it."

Instinctively, I licked my lips and opened slightly. When I felt the strawberry touch my lips, I tipped my chin to eat it, but he pulled it away. "Not so fast. See why you have to be taught? Food is about more than taste. Trust me, I used to be celibate, I know how to enjoy a meal."

I laughed at that and parted my lips again. Priest dragged the bitten strawberry across my lips. It was cool, sweet, and despite Priest's intentions it felt innately sexual to me. "Lick your lips." I did so, enjoying the distinct taste that only strawberries could provide. "Open." I opened and he rested the strawberry in my mouth. "Chew slowly, like it's the last food you will ever eat."

I chewed slowly, only swallowing when my saliva threatened to choke me. Priest repeated the procedure again, offering me a smell of the berry first. When we were on our fifth berry I not only felt full, I felt like I no longer cared if Priest's intentions were honorable. Somewhere between taste and touch, I had lost track of what I was supposed to be getting out of this experience.

"What's going on here?" August's voice called from above us.

I sat up even before opening my eyes. I hit Priest in the forehead on my ascent, which ushered him back, hissing in pain.

"August?" I said, blinking away the sun. "What are you doing here?" She was standing over us, eyeballing the blanket and the strawberries.

"You've been gone two hours. How long does it take to get holy water?" She looked mad, like she had just caught me making out with my boyfriend on the couch.

"I didn't realize I was expected back at a certain time. I could have taken the four-wheeler or the bike."

"Never mind that, what's going on here?"

Before I could answer, Priest stood up. "What does it matter, August? We're eating strawberries. I asked her to stay. She is my friend."

"I don't want you influencing her, Matthew. I need her sober."

"Strawberries, August." Priest pointed to the bowl. "Not cocaine."

"Lenore, get your holy water and get the truck back home. I don't want you hanging out here all day."

"I'm not going to just start using drugs because of him," I defended myself.

"No, I'm not worried about that. What I am worried about is your hope getting caught up in..." August twirled her finger over the scene. "...this. He won't stay sober for long, Lenore."

I looked up at Priest. He didn't offer any objection to this. "I know," I said, somewhat forlorn. "Let me enjoy it while I can." She looked a little put off by the comment, but she nodded and left us without another word.

Priest shuffled about angrily before sitting back down on the blanket. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what? She's my friend. I should be apologizing to you."

"No, I'm sorry that she's right. Addict or not, I just don't want to be sober in this world anymore."

"I never expected you to sober up for me. I didn't even know we were friends until today." He looked hurt by that; I grimaced apologetically. "I know now." He smiled and reached over to touch my cheek. He closed his eyes and whispered something that sounded Latin. When he opened his eyes, he looked sad. "What did you just do?"

"I blessed you, and asked God to protect you."

"You guys are on speaking terms now?"

"I never stopped talking to God," he said flatly. "He just stopped answering." He winked at me, to let me know that he wasn't intending to sound crazy. "I should get you your water, so you can get out of here."

"I'm not in a rush." I handed him the flask from my back pocket so he could bless the water it contained. "After that display I'm obligated to stay longer just to flaunt my independence."

"August didn't come here to get you to come home. She came here to tell me that I'm not good enough for you." He closed his eyes and blessed the flask. When he opened his eyes, he was looking directly at me. "She's right."

I sat up further on the blanket. I didn't know how to react to this. Until now I didn't know I was friends with Priest, and now that I did, he was essentially telling me we couldn't be friends. "Priest—" It was all I got out before he handed me the flask.

"I'm sorry, Lenore. I wish I could be more than selfish, but right now, all I have left in this world is arguing with my ex." With that Priest stalked off to do who knows what sin. I didn't follow.