Adam took a deep breath, this wasn't a topic he discussed. He'd tried his damnedest to bury those feelings, he never wanted to speak of them.
He certainly didn't want his wife to know, but he knew it's was time.
He ran his hand through his hair quickly, one of the few nervous ticks he had.
"The reason I balked on putting Nicky on medication..." He paused watching Kim like a hawk, "it's because my mother was an addict...is an addict" he corrected, "she chose illicit drugs over me"
"Adam..."
"I'm okay" he could see the concern on her face, "I've seen what medication like that can do to people.." His head was pounding, certain the run in with his mother the reason for the incessant pounding, "it's irrational, I know. Nick needs that medicine, but growing up with an addict for a mother, I'm a little gun shy"
Her heart ached for him, she draped her arm over his shoulders and leaned in closer to him, she could feel his heart thumping in his chest, "I won't say I understand..because I don't, I can't imagine what it most have been like for you" she wiped her own tears, seeing him so vulnerable wasn't a sight she was accustomed to.
"It was clear from a young age that she loved getting high more than she loved me" he confessed, "she was real good about hiding it for awhile, my dad had no idea"
"Addicts are pretty skilled at hiding their addiction" she offered.
"I once walked in on her doing a line...with the guy from across the street" he could still remember the panic that filled him that day, he'd just wanted to watch television but the television wouldn't turn on. He needed her help, and found her snorting the line in his parents bedroom the man from across the street towering over her. His hands on her hips, and his face filled with desire.
In hindsight Adam wasn't sure what he desired more his mother or the line of coke.
"I had no idea what she was doing but I knew whatever it was I wasn't supposed to see it"
"You deserved better babe" she ran her fingers over the back of his head.
Adam zoned off suddenly lost in the memory.
"Mommy?" Adam asked tentatively, as he pushed the door open "tv is broked again" his eyes growing big as saucers, his mother's nose pressed tightly to the dresser as she sucked the white powder into her nose through a straw.
"Jesus Christ Sylvia, your fucking brat.." Troy's hands still attached to Sylvia's hips, nothing got his motor running faster than watching her snort a line. Problem was the kid was now in the room, his dick was hard as a rock and the kid just killed it.
Sylvia ran her hand across her nose, after she quickly attempted to suck the remaining coke up.
"Mommy what is that? Why's Troy here?" Adam asked, the television remote clutched in his hand.
"Get out! Get out now you little shit!" Troy barked at Adam.
Adam felt his bottom lip quiver, "Shit..Troy." Sylvia grumbled removing herself from his grasp. She grabbed Adam forcibly by the wrist, "Let's go!"
Tears fell from Adam's eyes, "just stop, Adam. You don't need to fucking cry over everything" her body finally reacting to the cocaine rushing through her, "Troy is mommy's friend"
She led Adam to his bedroom, "No Mommy...please no!" He cried he knew exactly what was coming. He fought against her, his hands reaching out to her "I'm sorry..I won't tell daddy..I promise!" Tears streaming down his face.
