seventy two hours :: lrh

sette

"i don't know," aspyn said for the nth time, rocking back and forth on her toes. "i don't know why, when, or - "

"hey, calm down, okay?" jian rested her hands on both of aspyn's shoulders, soothing her. "everything's gonna be okay."

"okay?" aspyn snapped, her tone higher than it was before. "how could you possibly say that everything is going to be fucking okay when it clearly isn't!"

jian remained silent, not expecting a single bit of that from aspyn. she muttered a low "excuse me for a minute" before disppearing into her room, leaving aspyn all frustrated outside.

"oh my god," she whispered to herself, twisting the doorknob and letting herself inside her own little room, in her own little world. "i'm such a bitch."

aspyn never talked to jian like that, ever, in her whole entire life. she was nice to her, and she always reciprocated what she gave her; except this time.

jian was just being nice, trying to calm her down, easing her, making her okay. but that's the thing - she wasn't okay, and probably never will be; she's just tired of hearing other people telling her it's all going to be okay when in reality, with all its imperfections, it's far from that.

aspyn knew they were saying those to ease the pain of living in this bloody earth, but it isn't bloody working; nothing is working, not even her bloody brain.

she looked around her room, at the plain, boring white walls, the huge window on one wall overlooking the busy streets of the city of london, a bed with white sheets and pillows. everything was white, nothing was screaming colour; this was exactly how aspyn was feeling today.

empty. like she had no sole purpose on existing in this very planet. that's how she felt whenever she tried to get her mother into a conversation. she ignored her, telling her not to disturb her because apparently she was busy 24/7 with her goddamn life.

plain. like she had nothing about her that made her interesting or captivating. that's how she felt when she was around michael; he never appreciated the effort she put into their relationship just to make it work. she did almost everything for him, but he never did anything for her.

colorless. like the world she is living in is in black and white, a single bit of fun not around. unlike her world before, screaming all the colours she could possibly think of. if only there was a way you could turn back time, sometimes not to change something, but to feel everything again.

aspyn felt bad, really bad, for snapping at jian; she didn't deserve it. so she put on her boots and her coat, storming outside the cold, london air.

she walked around the streets, searching for the nearest bookstore she could find along the way. she looked down her clock for a brief moment, and her hours decreased a bit most likely from being a bitch to her friend. not good at all.

while she was wandering all by herself, she realized that despite of her failing in pretty much everything she does, there was actually one thing she was good at: messing everything up.

she covered her clock with her sleeve, sighing momentarily. when she looked up, she bumped at a red mail box, hitting her head and making her see stars everywhere.

nope, she thought. she's not clumsy at all.

luckily, she did not lose her conscience from the tragic incident, just received a few stares at passers-by, which she returned with a smile, hoping that they got the signal to look away from her.

when she looked to her right, she saw the sign, a store of books, and knew from then on that she had found what she was looking for - the heavens.

pushing the double doors, she stepped inside the bookstore, greeted by the beautiful, familiar smell of new books. she went over the anime section, and browsed through the shelves of books. she spent a solid two minutes admiring the covers, and finally found what she, or her friend, rather, wanted.

she took one book from the carefully-structured aisle, and when she did, she saw a blue eye looking at her from the other side of the shelf. she laughed, thinking it was just a book cover, but then realized a millisecond later that it was ... real.

she gasped, making her way to the other side of the shelf to see if it really was real. but she was disappointed at what she saw, there was no one there. sighing, she went back to the other side of the shelf and took two more books similar to the first one she got and walked towards the counter to pay for them.

aspyn found herself looking from left to right around the store whilst standing in line, patiently waiting for her turn. she didn't know why she was doing so, as if she was searching for someone whom she did not know of.

"miss?" the black woman behind the counter called over, motioning for her to move forward.

"i'm sorry," aspyn apologized as she lent the woman her money. "i was just thinking."

she didn't know why but there was something about that blue eye that made her stay up all night, thinking that there was a chance that could've been the boy from the airport (no, not michael.) maybe that beautiful pair of ocean blue eyes were the same ones she encountered at the london airport when she fell down. maybe that gorgeous back that she was staring at at the airplane was the same one she saw at the airport. maybe those blue eyes and that gorgeous back were the same ones she was talking to at the airport in sydney. maybe all of her maybe's were right.

but maybe she was wrong all along.

or not.

-

  (a/n): do you generate electricity with water through the process of hydro-power because dam  (¬‿¬)