Hearts Afar

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It’s been a whole month since I had to say goodbye to Clay and other than hearing from him before he left the states, I’ve actually talked to him three times and have gotten five letters. According to him, things over there have been pretty good, considering but he still had a job to do. If I had my way, I would have him and Brent packed and ready to come home today.

School has been going well and so has dance. Jessica has finally learned to stay away from me because there was another incident that involved her a couple of weeks ago. She was still trying to stake some kind of claim on Clay and I let her know right fast and in a hurry that just because he wasn’t here, didn’t mean that she could try to step all over me. She once again learned, that I wasn’t some little daisy that would take her crap. I was honestly surprised that I haven’t gotten into trouble or anything because of it. 

Valentine’s Day was a couple of weeks ago and that was one of the days I got to actually hear Clay’s voice. I was on the phone but a second when Brent came on the line, claiming that once they were both home, there would be a battle over me and only one would walk away. I laughed at his words because no matter what, I always knew that Clay would win. We had a dance and while everyone was enjoying themselves, I opted to stay with Caroline and the kids. They seemed to make the days just a little easier than being at home, day in and day out.

I have been able to go to the doctor’s with Caroline at least once and everyone is trying to stay positive, the doctor’s out look wasn’t as positive. It seemed that within the past two months, Caroline’s health had taken a turn for the worse. I had to admit that with everything that was going on, school, home and missing Clay so much, that just wasn’t news that I needed to hear. I had been crying a lot the past week and although I was able to talk to my mom, things just seemed to keep getting worse. 

    “Mom, I think I’m going to go crazy,” I said one day after walking in from dance practice. 

    “Just think, honey. In three months time, you won’t have to worry about high school any longer,: she said, laughing and trying to ease my thoughts.

    “I know but come six months time, I have to worry about college. I think I might just take some time off that way I would still be here in case anything happens to Caroline.”

    “Honey, I love that you love her so much and want to help her but you’re still young. You do what you have to do and I’ll watch over her.”

    “Mom, she’s already made all of her arrangements and she’s left me in charge of everything. I have to stay here for Hannah and Mikey. And for Clay. What would he think of me if I abandoned his sister and brother while he was away.”

    “Claire, he wouldn’t think you abandoned them, he would understand,” she said.

    “No, I can’t do that. If all else fails, I’ll just go to the community college and get some kind of degree,” I said.

    “That’s better than nothing.”

    “I’m going to Caroline’s. I’ll be back later.”

    “Be careful. The roads might be slick.”

    “I’ll let you know when I get over there.”

When I go to the Redden’s house during the weekdays, it’s normally just to get supper cooked, make sure Mikey and Hannah get their homework done and their bedtime routines completed. Tonight, I had to clean up Caroline’s room and wash clothes. I knew that I wouldn’t leave here until eleven at the latest. It was a good thing that I got most of my homework done in class and what I didn’t finish, I could do while on lunch.