Hearts Afar

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Two and a half months later

It’s been nearly four months since I’ve seen Clay. It’s been almost two months since I’ve heard from him and it was driving me crazy. The last time I got to hear his voice was on my birthday and that was only because they were back on base for a little while but wasn’t staying long. 

Prom night was two weeks ago and I just wasn’t feeling up to it but still went because I promised that I would go for Clay. He said that when he got home, he wanted to see how beautiful I looked in my dress. I kept it quite simple with a neon green strapless dress but I was still complimented that I was the best looking there. I didn’t see it because I was sad that I didn’t get to have my boyfriends arms around me. I danced a couple of dances with my friends and then I called it a night.

I was set to graduate this Saturday and I was spending the last week over at the Redden’s house. Caroline had taken a turn for the worse but she was still hanging on. I knew that if anything did happen to her before graduation, I would rather be with the family than walking across the stage. Caroline told me that if it was the last thing she would see, it would be me walking across the stage to receive my diploma. 

On Friday night, we had a little party at the school for the graduating class. I stayed for about an hour and once again, my mind was elsewhere so I decided to go on home. When I walked through the door, Mikey had Caroline downstairs. She looked really pale and this was definitely the thinnest I have ever seen her. 

    “Hey sweetie,” Caroline said weakly.

    “How are you feeling?” I asked.

    “Not to well. I think it’s going to happen soon.”

    “Caroline, please,” I started only to be stopped by the rising of her hand.

   “I know I’m putting a lot on you Claire, but if I didn’t think you could do it, I would have asked someone else.”

    “I know, I just don’t want to think about it.”

   “I know, I really don’t either. I don’t want to leave my kids without a mom. They’ll have you but they always will need their mother,” she said. “I will see you walk across to get your diploma though, I promise you that.”

The next day, I left Caroline and the kids with my mom and sisters and went on over to get ready for graduation. We were all excited and nervous at the same time. I was more concerned about falling on my face than anything else. I had caught Tara and Haylee a way down and walked over to them. After hugging each other for a lifetime and taking a dozen pictures, we were told to get ready for line up. 

The music started playing and the only thing I could concentrate on was putting on foot in front of the other. I even sung the song from the claymation Christmas movie Santa Claus is Coming to Town. You know the one where they sing, ‘put one foot in front of the other and soon you’ll be walking ‘cross the floor.’

When I was finally safely sitting down, I felt a rush of relief come over me. I knew we would still be here for awhile but I wouldn’t have to start getting nervous until I stood up again. As I listened to the speakers and everything, I tried to search the stands for mom, my sisters, Caroline, the kids and the Buchanan’s. I noticed Caroline right away because she was a lot paler than the rest of the viewers. She saw me looking at her and tapped mom’s arm. They both looked at me and blew me kisses; I waved at them and smiled. I was almost sick looking up at my boyfriend’s mother. Not because of the way she looked but because I knew this was taking everything out of her. She should be at home but instead she was here. If she got any worse, it would make me feel absolutely horrible.