A Little Lie | Marco Reus/Erik Durm

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Like you've been running for hours,
And can't catch your breath,
The demons are screaming so loud in your,
You're tired, you're broken, you're cut and you're bruised,
Don't feel so heavy, hold on, I'll carry you.

I was stiff, unable to move, almost unable to breathe. As soon as Marco could, he drove into a parking lot, stopping the car. I felt his eyes burning on me, but I didn't look at him. I couldn't get myself to look at him.

"Mila, are you okay?"

"Fine" I mumbled, but that's a lie and he knew that very well.

Was my life going to be like this, just because Marco is my boyfriend? Why did it have anything to do with me? I'm not the footballer, I'm not a public person. How did they even know about me? How do they even know I exist? Wait, had they been following me?

I remembered the feeling I had, that one time I left Marco's place, the feeling of someone following me, keeping an eye on me. Had they been following me. From here to school, back home? That was creepy.

I tried to swallow the knot in my throat, but I couldn't. I just felt sick...repelled. I felt how my hands were still shaking, even though most parts of my body was numb.

"Don't lie to me, Mila" Marco said, it sounded like he was almost begging me not to.

I felt Marco place a hand on my shoulder, but I still didn't look at him. I don't know why, but I wanted to push it off me, I didn't want him to touch me, but I didn't know why.

"Say something" This time, he was begging.

"Can we skip dinner, I think I just want to go home" I said, it was all I could say.

Marco sighted, before nodding. I knew that wasn't want he wanted to hear, but it was all I had to say right now. We didn't speak all the way back, Marco tried, but I couldn't.

Way too many things were going through my head. I guess, I never really thought about, what it would mean to my life, what Marco did. And honestly, I didn't like it.

The tension between us was hanging thick in the air, it was almost like smoke choking us slowly. It drained every emotion out of us, especially me. Marco opened the car door for me, as we made it back to his place and I stepped out. He tried to get a grip around my hand, but I stuck it in my pockets. They were still shaking, badly. We got in and I took my shoes off. I was about to walk towards the kitchen, when Marco softly grabbed my wrist.

"Mila!" he said, raising an eyebrow.

I met his eyes, but I had no emotion in my face. I could tell it killed Marco, which killed a little part in me.

"Yeah?"

"Talk to me? What's going through your head? I know that was scary and I'm sorry that it happened, I just-"

"It's fine"

"It's not fine! I can see it's not fine!" He yelled.

Marco wasn't mad, not in any way, he was just desperate, sad.

"Please don't yell at me" I mumbled.

Marco yelling at me, just recalled the paparazzi's yelling at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he sighted, looking down.

"I'm just gonna go to bed" I mumbled, walking towards the bedroom.

He didn't stop me, didn't speak, he knew he had lost the battle right now.

**

It was a bad decision going to bed. It just made me think even more, made me even more scared, maybe even gave me some doubts. What happened was horrible, I knew it was something Marco had to deal with, but why me? I didn't want it like that, I hate being on the spot. I don't know if I could be able to live like that.