Death Call (Part 1 complete)

Chap. 6.2

“Dwight, please hear me first. I hate to say this to you but I must do it,” I utter. I only force my mouth to open up so that I could speak those words. Now, I believe that even girls will be tongue-tied if ever she wants to tell something to her partner. Supposedly, everything should not change. I start to recall the past things we spent for each other. This man is really a tough crazy person. Every time I am down, he is the one who made me happy. The jokes he originally spoken from his mouth relates the other side of my life, being a clumsy girl. He never intends to hurt my feelings because he is the only who fixed everything. However, we remain weak for how many years without knowing that my career in life starts to improve. It is so hard to decide which one to choose. I cannot choose both of them. Destiny mends me to choose only one so I decide to have my career rather than being with him for a long time here in Phoenix. At that moment, I cry. I spent one week crying alone in my room thinking if I could carry on if I will leave him. I think if I have the same strength when I will go to a new world without him by my side.

I look back unto his eyes. He is still standing in front of me.

“What is it?” he asks.

“I know to tell you the truth about the things I have done to you before is such a worse idea. I am sorry Dwight. I choose the things I know which the best are for me but I am wrong. I remember you every time I am alone. I remember you because you are one of my inspirations that I have in my life,” I cry. The temperature starts to fall down and I am feeling like freezing in too much cold. I feel it again.

“Don’t expect me that I will believe in you anymore. You lied to me. It is hard to imagine now if we can do this again,” he says with his eyes so down as he stares up unto me.

“Think it again. I want you to think it again. I know you have Carla as a part of your life but I want you to need me again. I love you and that is all I know,” I cry hardily. The moment is crucial. I feel like I am directing now to my death site. The pain is doubled. My heart is too injured from what he said to me.

I cry.

I. Am. Sorry.

“Carla was already gone. If you want me to compare both of you, she is much different from all the girls I loved before. She nearly completes my life. She showed me what real happiness is and I was so delighted that she is willing to share me everything I did not know. You,” he starts to compare me with her. “You are one of those girls who destroyed my life. You are such an invaluable thing I should not keep in myself. This time, I will be the one who will give up on this relationship. I suppose to give you the freedom of loving another one,”

Is this true? Does he break up with me?

I am just speechless seeing him leaving. I suddenly fall down unto the ground without knowing what will happen next to me. I cannot stop him anymore. He is truly gone now. I don’t know what I will do now. I am just letting myself cry harder so that my emotions will overcome quickly. 

This is the moment where my chances are getting worse. He will never come back to me again. I should not expect for another chance. It leaves me a cut in my heart, open and keeps on bleeding continuously. I have this worse nightmare in my life, the meaning without someone that you love.

I go downstairs and check if my brother is there. As I walk downstairs, I heard the voice of Sam outside my house. It is hard to insist her because I know she will ask me again about what happen recently. How many times do I resist her during my negative matters? Did I ever keep another secret that she doesn’t know? As I remember, she was the one who told me about Carla. She might be the reason about this argument of ours. I suppose to stop telling her now. If I will continue writing the events down to my diary, I know that someone can read it. Someone will steal it and broadcast it to his/her friends. No, I won’t let anyone touch my sacred stuffs again. Never.

As I go back upstairs towards my room, I remember what Joan told me before. She said that they might be home in weekends and so I watch the calendar. Shock. It is Saturday. Maybe seconds or minutes, they are here now. One, two, three, four…..

Ding...Dong…

Are they already here? Where is Isle? I look at the wall clock and it is already ten in the morning. It has been three hours of argument and a little bit of confrontation and as a result, I never thought of my brother. I open the door quickly thinking that it is my parents but I am wrong. It is him. I don’t know what wants why he comes back to my house. As I look in his eyes, it is hard to read every line that passes through his nerves.

“What do you need?” I ask.

“I have left my phone at your room,” he says. I do remember of the things that are left in my table: my diary, my cases and my laptop but I have no phones or any phones that are place in my table.

“Where did you place it?” I ask again. It is hard to act in a pretentious way but I am enlightened by things that I must do to be with him again. I mean to become friends with him again. He only stares at me and then bows down his head. He is acting like a pet of mine.

“Okay, you can search it here but…but…but…” I warn him. “I give you only ten seconds to search for it and the timer starts now”

“What?” he amusedly asks.

“I said that your time starts now. Look…” I pause when I see a taxi parks in front of my house. The first person that goes out the door is my mother and then my father. I never thought that they will arrive   that early. They don’t even send me a message in my phone but how can I receive it if my phone cannot function well. I remember that it sunk in the aquarium. How can I make alibis now?