Death Call (Part 1 complete)

Chap. 6.1 Caught

-6-

Caught

I wake up the next day with my eyes on the clock. It is ticking and I feel like loosing every second while I am still lying in my bed. I should do my task today. I know that he will be back to visit me here later. I just hear my brother’s voice downstairs loudly as if he is calling someone.

“Katrina,”

It is my name. I hastily go down the stairway and I am stun to what I see. It is Dwight, holding a bouquet of flowers and presents. He is wearing his blue polo, unbuttoned and open, seeing his white slim t-shirt visible enough. The moment is warm. It is not a rush but I feeling of desire. Thus, I am start to gone crazy right now.

“Hi,” he begins walking nearer to me offering me the flowers and presents. I hope these roses are thorn-less.

“Thank you Dwight,” I say.

“You are always welcome,” he replies then starts to move his hands slowly to my hips. I am just curious if ever my brother will see us doing this kind of things. He might think that we are making something forbidden.

“Dwight, can we go up to my room,”

“Okay,”

My day is half-lucky and half-lonely. Lucky because he is here but lonely because I am feeling confuse. Confusion trembles my mind every time he is here. I am unstable when he gets closer to me. This time, we are alone again at my room. It is hot sunny morning in Phoenix with neighbors so busy doing daily tasks.

This is a hectic day today.

I stare at him as the way he stares me too. Our eyes connect like there is a current that never separate this connection. My weird thoughts start to decode each act.

“I see your brother still sleeping at his room. When I sneak out, he keeps on hugging his pillow,”

“Yes, he loves that pillow so much because I was the one who give it to him as my birthday present for him,” I respond. Our eyes meet again. Then, he slowly walks all the way through me with his hands on his pockets. I try to move one-step back but I am on my ceiling, stranded with fear. “So, do you want some food to eat?”

“No,” his voice drops with a smile on his lips.

“Wait, I am…” I stop him but he continues walking. I close my eyes thinking other way to get out from the mess I am in now. “I have something to do now in the kitchen. I am doing this task as my routine. Cooking,”

“You are joking. You do not even now how to cook before. As what your brother told me, you are such a simple sister for her”

I am shock from what he say.

“What did he say to you?” I confirm. He ceases himself from looking me straight back. “Are you hiding something from me? If you know Dwight,”

I slowly put myself into calmness. My condition is fine now. Everything is turning okay for me. At that time, I pause. He holds my hand and put it to his chest. I do not know what he really wanted from me but there is somewhat curiosity that flows out into my mind. Suddenly, I feel frighten. I let my diary falls unto the surface making a disturbance unto his attention. When I suppose to get it, he stops me and he let himself do it. I never thought he would be amaze of the things inside my own secret book. The plans, my very own plans, it is totally diminish. I cannot move even one-step aside because of fear.

“What do you mean about this?”

The eyes of rage are like a fire burning in blue. The morning is cold with such dread in my heart. He reads every sing lines as if he wants to know everything about my plan. I look at the door and think about my escape. My sweat gradually runs down through my skin and with abnormal rhythm of this heartbeat, I think I am pushing myself to death. Oh God, this is crazy. Why I have done this to him? I suppose to show me the love he wanted from me. I suppose to. I need to think for the second time. What will happen if ever I will tell him the truth, does he forgive me again?

A question suddenly sparks in my mind.

Why you can’t lie to him?

Then, I see him tearing down those particular pages of my diary. I want to stop him but I cannot. The fire in his eyes smolder my entire body.

“You are planning to ruin my life, aren’t you?”

I inhale exaggeratedly.

“Forgive me,” I say. “It is not my intention to hurt you. That plan was just a joke. I write every time you intentionally hurt me. All I know is that, I have forgiven you already,”

Am I lying? Does he really believe me? I think he does not.    

“I warn you, Katrina. If ever I see you doing these things again, I don’t know what I will do to you,”

“But it is just a joke, Dwight,” I chock. I feel something hard on my throat. I have not eaten my breakfast yet. I look unto his eyes, staring at me irritably. I touch my throat when I feel it tightens like committing a suicide. I am stock in the ceiling with my feet shaking on the ground.

Finally, he stops staring at me when I start falling down on my knees. I breathe in large amount so that I can refill my lungs with air. I breathe repeatedly as if I am loosing every single breath I take. At last, he moves forward to help me. I watch him as he wipe away the sweat in my face with his hankie. The moment is great. I feel like I have my caring husband now but this is not the right time to have jokes. Serious.

His face stops over mine. Our eyes meet in an instant where I can feel his warmth terribly. This is the hardest thing to think what I must do to escape from him. I find myself stuck between his hands leaning on the ceiling behind me. Every time I cease myself to look straight unto him, he gets closer to me. My stomach begins to panic because I haven't eaten my breakfast yet. One step takes how many seconds to plan. He is still staring at me.

"You don't know how long I am waiting for you to come back. I'm so sorry if I am so mad at you for those days that you are in your unconditioned state. You don't have to take vengeance on me. I am so sorry for myself of hurting you that way," he explains. In fact, he is way to perfection through the kind of honesty he shows to me.

"Dwight," I pause. I don't know what should I reply to him. It doesn't matter anyway because the important thing is that I tell him what I should feel. "I am born being a hypocrite. I don't want to hurt your feelings. My intention is just to make you feel that you are totally free from me"

"Can't we stop fooling ourselves?" he wraps his hands unto my waist. I am getting closer to him. So close.

"Dwight, I can't fool you and you know that. I just want to have time on my own. A space where I can decide what are the things I need to do for my own sake. I don't want Carlo and Jane thinks that I am such a worthless daughter. I don't want you to think that I am a worthless someone for you. All the time, I am thinking about my family and especially you, Dwight," I say. I can't hide my tears from falling down unto the ground. He only wipes it again as what he did to me when I am sweating all over my face. I am such a fool about the things I tell him. It is not suppose to be that way; I must tell him something that will not affect my emotions.

The tune of the wind is like a symphony I never heard before. It is beautiful. Perfect.

I thought this is a dream. As I blink my eyes repeatedly, I am still in his hands like I am prison forever. My body is frozen in too much fear. I am looking at the door. I feel like someone is coming. Someone is coming. I am sure. I want to push him away but I have no force to do that. Dwight's presence is strange that makes me petrify for a moment. It is a very long moment of being stranded unto him. I continue staring at the door and then we both suddenly hear the simultaneous knocks on it. He suddenly moves away but I am still unmoved. Stationary.

"I better go home now," he says with his teeth grinding in anger. I want to calm him but I am still in my equilibrium state. I keep on thinking deeply what I should do to stop him for that moment. I shouldn’t let him go. I should not let him go away that fast. As he tries to reach the doorknob, I shout.

“Stop,”

Oh god, did I tell him to stop? What I am thinking now? He must not think that I need him so badly. Help. He is getting closer now. Please forgive me.