Mirror Mirror Can't You See, What You Show Is Killing Me

Ice Cream [Chapter 6]

I wake up, my head throbbing. It's a saturday and I have nothing to do today, so I call Ky.

"Hey," he answers, "What's up?" 

"Meet me at the park in 10 minutes?" 

"Sure, I'll be there." 

I hang up and smile, throwing on my Sleeping With Sirens shirt and my galaxy leggings. I lace up my Deathnote converse, and grab my Attack On Titan cosplay jacket. Just as pull on my Black Butler gloves, I remember to plan my diet for the day.

Breakfast: Nothing, better not break the fast just yet. 

Lunch: coffee and a cutie (orange) 

Dinner: Egg white and peanuts

I'll run to the park, and do my 150 crunches after I meet Ky. 

I step out the door, satisfied, and begin to run. Halfway through my sides begin to hurt, and I have to stop to catch my breath. Out of no where a chill takes over my body. Depression hits, crashing a tital wave of pain onto me. 

I try to push through the overwhelming sense of failure, finding the cuts on my leg and clinging to those. 

Eventually I reach the park, out of breath and alone. Ky's not here yet.

When he arrives, he's holding ice cream. 

"Mint chocolate chip?" I ask, surprised.

"Yep," he replies, smiling like an idiot, My idiot.

I kiss him and laugh, dipping my finger into it and placing it on my lips. He leans over and licks it off.

"I could get used to this," he smirked.  

"Me too," I closed my eyes, laying my head on his shoulder. 

"Do you ever. . ." I begin, but my voice trails off.

"Do I ever what?" he murmured, voice so soft.

"Never mind." I shake my head.

"No, tell me," he pleads. 

"Do you ever wish you were someone else, somewhere else, without the problems you have now," I look up, searching his eyes for judgement, but finding none. 

"Sometimes," he whispers, his voice so low I can hardly hear him, "But more than that, I wish the bad stuff would go away, family, school, bullying, and you could keep what you wanted, like you." 

I imagine for a moment just being with Ky, no one else. Never having to deal with my parents again, being skinny without ana, and actually loving myself. 

"I dream about it every night," I bite my lip and ask the question that's been on my mind since I met him, "Ky, would you like me better if I was skinny?" 

"What?" shock colors his face, "If you were any skinnier, you would probably die."

"Not if I only lost a few pounds. . ." I mutter before I can stop myself.

"Caia. . .you're not trying to lose weight are you?" Worry fills his eyes.

"No," Even I can hear the lie in my voice.

His earlier smile is gone now, replaced by concern and a strange determination.

"Caia eat the ice cream," he commands. I do the calorie count in my head, and figure out that it adds up to way too much. 

I try to shake my head, but he kisses me, and when his tongue parts my lips, he pulls back and shoves a spoon into my open mouth. 

"Hey," I cry, "You play dirty!" 

"Maybe," he shrugs, "But if it gets food in your stomach, then it's justified." 

He shoves the rest of the ice cream into my mouth, and laughs,

"That, Caia Cat, is how I get your lips creamy. If only this were vanilla. . ."