Mirror Mirror Can't You See, What You Show Is Killing Me

Dixie [Chapter 27]

Smiling, I drop my tray next to Alexis's. 

"I passed!' I exclaim, mocking jazz hands, "I'm a model patient 'gaining weight'."  

"Your parents still send you quarters for the vending machine?" she raises her eyebrows. 

"Yep," I affirm, "They think that sweets are the cure for everything." Alexia laughs, and I join in. It's nice that they think I'm still five, but. . .Time to face the real world, Mom. I haven't thought about her in. . . I don't know. There's a reason, I guess. I try to dissociate her with my 'eating disorder'. No matter who they are, I don't like hurting them. 

"Really?" Eater-girl snorts, "Do you really just not care?"  

"Not care about what?" I ask, confused.  

"The people you're putting through crap with this," she says, glaring, "Do you just not care about the money your parents are spending on this facility, the resources you have, the ability to get better?" She emphasizes the last two words. 

"Hey," Alexis cuts in, "I didn't ask for this. I don't even HAVE PARENTS. The freaking foster home sent me here when they couldn't figure out a way to CARE. They don't care. And about their money, neither do I." 

Eater-girl's shoulders fall ever so slightly, "Well then I'm sorry. But you Caia, what's your excuse? Don't you want to try, at least try?" 

"I did," I mutter, "For years. This is my third time here. You're right I guess. But I can't ever seem to want to try for me. It's always to get out, or to make someone else happy. I never could stand the weight." 

"Then fake it until you make it. Do it for that boy you're always talking about. Ky, was it? Do it for him until it becomes for you," She empathizes.  

"I-I don't know how," I whisper. 

"To start," she says, "I'm not eating anymore of your food. Eat it yourselves, okay? And another thing; My name is Dixie."

"Dixie," Alexis and I nod in unison. 

"If you need a success story, here: I survived, " Dixie states, "I was just like you a year ago, I never ate. I passed out driving one day and got stuck in here. I got freaking better, and they let me out. Now I eat regularly, am a healthy weight, and didn't die in the process. Weight won't kill you." 

"One problem with that," Alexis sighs, "You're here again." 

"That," Dixie waves her hand, "is for a completely different reason."

"Wh-" Alexis starts. 

"Which I don't care to say as of right now," Dixie finishes. 

Dixie motions for us to eat our food, and we spend the rest of our meal in comfortable silence, like always. It goes without saying that neither Alexis nor I finish our meal, but we get some of it down. Luna stops by, and is positively glowing when she sees Alexis get down a bite of cheesecake. Wren, shy like me, gives me a quiet thumbs up. 

I thought that when I started eating again, all my friends would disappear. Instead, they're closer than ever.