This = Love

Chaper 29

After leaving the ice rink the kids asked to go to Wacky Warehouse for dinner so we travelled in convoy to the pub where the kids all went straight into the soft play area, running around with excitement.

As James stood up to get everyone's drinks order I couldn't help but laugh when he asked Mel what she wanted and she asked for a cider, only for him to then say "I thought you were driving, I was going to have a pint" then there was the frantic whispers between the couples as they decided who would drive and who could have a drink, not an issue that me and Danny ever have.

After the discussions over who would drive and who could have a drink were settled James eventually went to the bar and then we chatted while the kids played before we went through to the bar and ordered our meals.

What started as us just calling in for dinner was turning into a bit of a night out and my brothers, apart from James, were getting a bit  tipsy and the kids were starting to get tired so it was time to head off.  It had been a really great day.

After dropping my mum off, me and Danny went back to mine.

"I had a good day today" Danny said as we got back.

"Yeah, me too" I agreed "and I think the kids enjoyed it which is the main thing"

"And now I'm Uncle Danny " he chuckled.

"Totally part of the family now." I told him.

"Want a drink now?" He asked.

"Nah, I'm going to grab a shower first" I told him, I felt like I needed one after our day out.

"Room for one more?" Danny asked raising and eyebrow before chasing me upstairs to share my shower.

I felt refreshed after the shower and when I had put on some pyjamas I went back downstairs and poured drinks for Danny and I.  He came down shortly after wearing lounge pants and a t shirt.

"So, are there any more exciting plans while we are here?" Danny asked me as we settled on the sofa.

"No, the fun's over now" I joked "I think I'm ready to book our flights home" I told him.

Danny looked surprised by this and it took a while before he said "Did you just call London home?"

I honestly hadn't realised I had done it until Danny pointed it out to me.  I hadn't felt right being back here all over Christmas but I thought that was just because I was missing Danny and today I had felt more relaxed having him with me but now, without any thought, I had just voiced my true feelings. London is my home now. I smiled as I felt like everything had clicked into place. "I did, didn't I?" I replied.

Danny's face now mirrored my own as a smile began to appear.
"What does this mean?" Danny asked me.

"I don't know, maybe I'll look for a job there when we get back and finally make the move, what do you think?" I asked.

Danny pulled me on top of him and started kissing me playfully "I think .... " "..... it's a great idea" he said between kisses.

I snuggled into Danny's chest and his fingers played aimlessly with my hair.  After a while he spoke again "Kay, why do you need to look for another job?" He asked cautiously.

"Because life's not free" I laughed before realising how serious Danny was being.

"I know life's not free but we aren't short of money" Danny said.  I sat up and was going to cut him off but he pressed forward with what he was saying as if he'd been thinking about this for a while.

"Don't say that it's not our money Kay, because it is. I know how independent you are but just listen to me and think about what I'm saying. I would never have asked you to leave your job, I know how much you love your job and it would be so hypocritical of me to ask you to leave it for us.  But if you feel that now is the right time for you to leave then I don't want you to feel like you have to get another one. But more than that, look at how flexible your work have been with you. You don't have to work at certain times and I know that means that sometimes you are working through the night to make up your hours but that's how we get to spend time together. If you took another job you might have set working times and that's going to bring us new challenges. If you took a job that filled you with passion then it's worth overcoming those challenges but if you're going after a job just because you think you need the money then why should we create those challenges for us, because we don't need the money."

"But...." I tried to interrupt but Danny wasn't finished yet.

"Think about it, in 6 weeks time I go on tour, how great would it be if we could spend as much time as we wanted together because you didn't have work holding you back. I'm not asking you to stop working forever. I'm just asking you to consider taking some time out."

"You've been thinking about this for a while haven't you?" I asked, Danny nodded, almost with a hint of shame as he said "I've thought about every way that we could make it easier to be together but I can't find a way that doesn't involve one of us giving up work. Like I said, I would never have asked you to give up work but if you are going to do it, don't go straight into another job and immediately replace all the barriers."

I could see what he was saying and I knew he was right. I just didn't know how to not work, I've never been out of work since I left school at 15. I've spent my entire life building up my career. I'm a very independent person and I'm proud that I've worked for everything that I've ever had. But I don't want to make life difficult for me and Dan.

"So how would it work?" I asked, surprising myself that I was open to having this discussion.

"I haven't worked it all out, we would need to do that together" he started "but I think that if you gave up work then we would only have my work commitments to accommodate in our relationship. I would need you to feel secure and I would want you to have your house to come back to when you visit your family so I would pay off your mortgage and any other debts you've got and then we'd change to a joint bank account so you'd have access to money whenever you needed it."

"Absolutely not" I said "there's no way I'm going to just spend all of your money. It's not happening."

"Well I would hope you wouldn't spend all of our money." Danny laughed lightening the mood. "I know it's a huge ask, but just think about it, yeah?"

"Dan, I'm not with you for your money. I know that what I earn is nothing compared to you but it's what gives me my independence. I don't want to be a kept woman."

"Kay, think about it, that's all I'm asking." Danny said as he planted a kiss on my head.