This = Love

Chapter 37

I got so used to having Danny around while he was in rehearsals that when it came time for him to go on tour I really missed him, ridiculously.

I had finished work so I really didn't have much to do and after spending time with my family and Eleanor I went back to London but it didn't feel so much like home anymore.

I tried to keep busy with planning the wedding but making the plans with Rina and Eleanor wasn't the same as making them with Danny.
After about a month apart I decided to go and spend some time with Danny.

I flew to Paris to meet up with him, the city of love, in my head it would be the perfect place to meet up after a month apart but in reality all I saw of Paris was the airport and venue before we boarded the tour bus and headed to Germany.

Life on the road isn't glamorous at all, Rina was right about not spending much time on the bus. There's no space, the bunks are tiny and it's so loud.

Despite all of this, I felt really content here.
I didn't want to outstay my welcome though, I was very aware that the other lads didn't have their families around and although they said I could stay as long as I wanted, I decided that I would go back with Rina after she visits for a couple of days, by that time I would have been on the tour for just over a month.

I woke up late this morning, maybe I was getting used to tour life? I could never sleep in my bunk when I first arrived.

Pulling back the curtain, the bus seemed unusually quiet this morning. As I walked down towards the kitchen area, I stopped myself in my tracks as I heard Danny, Mark and Glen talking.

"Look, don't tell Kay about this, I'll sort it" I heard Danny saying.

"Mate, if she finds out, she'll be more pissed off that you didn't tell her" Glen said.

"What do you mean if she finds out, of course she's going to find out, somebody will say something, Danny you need to tell her" Mark said firmly.

"Thanks but I think I know Kay better than you two, she doesn't need the stress. We need to make sure she doesn't find out" Danny told them.

Find out what? I was really thinking the worst and didn't know what to do. Whatever it was that Danny was trying to hide from me, I needed to know.

I walked into the kitchen area and casually said "Make sure who doesn't find out what?" like that was all I had heard.

Mark and Glen put their heads down and didn't say a word. Danny looked up and came straight over to give me a kiss and then said "Mark's just planning a bit of a surprise for Rina when she gets here and he's worried she'll find out about it."

Danny just lied to me, looked me straight in the eye and lied. I couldn't believe it and I wondered how many times he has lied to me before. I wanted to challenge him on the lie but I couldn't, instead I just said "Ok, I'll let you get back to it then" and went along to the back of the bus where I curled up on the sofas in silence trying to imagine what Danny was hiding from me.

I concluded from their tones that it wasn't good, and it wasn't going to be easy to hide, but Danny was adamant that I wasn't to find out. And he lied so easily to me!

After a while, Mark came and sat down on the sofa with me. "Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I lied, quite unconvincingly.

"So what's this surprise for Rina? Can I help with anything?" I asked.

Mark looked very sheepish, he's not a very good liar, he just said "No, it's under control"

I realised that I couldn't have this conversation, and that whatever Danny has done, Mark isn't going to tell me.

"Ok, I'm going for a lie down" I said, getting up and heading back to my bunk.

I lay down and pulled the curtain over so that I wouldn't be disturbed. I lay there for what seemed like hours before Danny pulled back the curtain and asked "What are you doing in there?"

"Just wanted some time to myself" I said.

"Can I join you?" Danny asked, clearly realising that there was something wrong.

"I'm getting up now anyway" I said as I climbed down from the bunk.

Danny put his arms around me as I got down and tried to kiss me, I pulled back and said "I've not brushed my teeth yet"

"What?" Danny said questioning the ridiculous reason for me not wanting to kiss him but I just turned and went to the bathroom.

I stood in the bathroom for a while and I knew I couldn't keep dancing around the subject and the bus isn't big enough to keep avoiding Danny but I didn't want to have a row with him on the bus either. I decided to try my best to avoid him until we got to the hotel.

When I eventually came out of the bathroom I heard voices coming from the back of the bus so I headed down to the kitchen area to make a coffee, I didn't even offer the lads a drink.

While I was making my coffee I felt two arms wrapping around my waist from behind and Danny started to kiss my neck. I had the most awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I loved this man so much and yet right now, his touch was making my skin crawl.

I tried to wriggle out of his embrace and continued to make my coffee but each time I moved he pulled me back. "Danny, I need coffee." I said trying to remove his hands from my waist.

"I need you" he said into my ear as he cuddled into me "I can't wait to get to the hotel tonight" he said as he kissed my cheek and finally released his grip from me.

I took my coffee and went to sit at the small table, I made sure I sat in the middle of the seat so that if Danny sat down he would have to sit opposite me. He made himself a cup of tea and then joined me at the table.

He watched me in silence for a minute before he asked "Kay, what's the matter?"

I was so angry that he was even asking me this. I didn't know what was the matter, but he did.

All plans to not do this on the bus were abandoned as I looked him in the eye and calmly asked "Dan, are you cheating on me?"