People always ask me, "Whats the warmest hat you ever wore?"
And then I'm like, "One time, mai head was super fricken cold, so I'm like, yo I needs a hat, yo, so I took like 40 squirrels and shaved them all and stuffed it in my ears and up my nostrils and wrapped it around my head, and it was reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally warm." But the next week, I tried something different, so my next story was, "Well, this one time, I found a fireplace and my head was really cold, so I shoved my head in there, and it was, like, super warm." And THEN I found something else that was pretty warm, so I continue with, "ONE TIME my head was STILL cold, and I saw this fat frickin hippopotamus and was all like, bruh lemme get in on some of dat stuff and open your mouth, and he's like, OK, and I shove my head in there, and then I'm like, alright my bruh you can shut your mouth now, and he's like, OK, and it was pretty warm." Mai head was warm by then, but I decided I needed a hat any way, so I then said, "This time I, like, flew to the sun in my helicopter and took it and carved it into a fez with a knife (i like knives) and wore it. It was, i guess, reasonably warm. Yeah, didn't get than one off for a while." And then, as I can tell when people want to hear more, I told them of the time I discovered the absolute warmest hat EVER. "My face was melting off due to the extreme coldness of the sun-fez, so I needed a new one. I THEN went home and there was a box at the door and im like, YES, its my new hat! So, I took the contents of the box and burned it. I THEEEEEN took the box and gingerly placed it on mah head and was like, HALP this hat is so warm I'm gonna DIE, and, as you may have guessed,.............it was a nice warm hat.
