In the previous chapter, I mentioned something called ©FuckDuck & Associates, and said I would explain it in the next chapter. I want to make it a short chapter so that I can also make a 9/11 memorial chapter, but it'll still be good. ;-). ©FuckDuck & Associates is my business. We are lawyers who manufacture meth-induced Ducks. We use a very special tactic while lawying, and that is: any time the opposing lawyer tries to say anything, immediately interrupt and shout for them to ©FuckADuck while throwing an egg at them. Fuckin' glorious. And there are 3 GREAT deals we've got to ensure your guilt--er, innocence:
1: The beginner's ©EggFuck pack, which gives you one lawyer and thats it. Just that one guy, that's all you get. And of course the eggs to throw at the other guy. But its the cheap deal, so...
2: The classic ©FuckDuck pack, which gives you TWO lawyers (twice the persuasion), the eggs, and a couple meth-induced ©FuckDuck & Associates Ducks, which basically just walk around and shit everywhere. This is the pack 67% of our patrons buy.
3: The extended ©GooseFuck pack. You get THREE LAWYERS (incase one gets an emergency call and needs to go ©FuckADuck or something), of course, the eggs, and 3 meth-induced ©FuckDuck & Associates GEESE, which also just walk around and blow magic out their rear, but they also might slightly injure and maul the opposing lawyer by pecking the crap out of 'em. (Meth induced geese tend to be aggressive), so its extra EXTRA persuasive.
All of the packs listed are sure to make you a winner (or I guess just innocent), so don't miss out! If you would like to work for us, you may apply in the comments. You will start as a paid intern with a salary of $2 per week, and with 15 weeks in a year (and of course, weeks are 11 days), years being 437 days, you get a whopping $3 a year! But naturally, with that generous of a starting payment, we only accept the best!!! Apply now! ©FuckDuck & Associates; For the Fuckiest of Ducks.
