Impossible to Forget

Chapter 2: The Dumbest Genius

The forefinger on my right hand played with the ringer finger on my left hand unconsciously. There was no longer a ring there to twirl when I was nervous or in deep thought or remembering the past or feeling guilty. Yeah, I used to spin the ring around my finger counterclockwise with nervous energy constantly. Well, that is until Kanaye had melted the ring as one of his stupid mind games. Beheading was too neat a way for him to go. He deserved a much slower death. He deserved-

I immediately stopped that train of thought; it's probably bad luck to be wishing painful deaths on people while at a wedding. Snapping back to reality, I re-plastered the smile on my face. Somehow I had managed to be sitting at one of the main tables, and it would be bad if I was caught frowning.

Everyone else was smiling and laughing and having an all around great time. Naruto and Hinata were caught up in each other's eyes, Lady Tsunade was drinking merrily, Sakura and Yamato were loudly telling stories about stupid things that Naruto had done on missions, even the stoic Hyugas were smiling and making merry, and Kakashi- Kakashi was staring right at me with worry written on the half of his face that was visible over the mask. Who had thought to put him right next to me for the meal place settings? Just add how I treated Kakashi for twenty-five years to the list of things that I was feeling guilty about the entire time.

"Kaiyo, are you alright? You were staring off into space, and it's not like you to zone out."

Only Anzu was listening to or even caring about our conversation, good.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just... weddings."

He looked confused, "What's wrong with weddings?"

I sighed, he's the dumbest genius in the world. "Nothing is wrong with weddings themselves, well, mostly. That's not the thing that's bothering me. Weddings and I just don't have a good track record..." My hand went to where my ring should have been once again, but I was only met with soft skin as opposed to smooth metal warmed by my body heat.

"Oh," was all that I got from Kakashi as he realized that he had asked a very stupid question. He was one of the few people who I had confided in about the insincerity of my own marriage. Well, I had thrown my ring as hard as I could at his face and then proceeded to vent at him, but still, it count's as confiding in my mind. "I'm really sorry. I should have realized-"

"Kakashi."

"Yes?"

"You're not making this any easier."

"Oh. Sorry."

I needed to change the topic and do it quickly; I was fast approaching a point of no return where memories and emotions of the past would come bite me with a vengeance.

Taking another sip of sake, I put down the cup for good. I needed all of my self control right now. I might not like weddings, but I would not let myself ruin Naruto's. He had been kind enough to invite me, and more than that, I had been included in almost everything. I guess that I'd grown closer to the jinchuriki and the Hyuga than I had thought in the last two years.

Alright, time for a change in topic.

I smiled at my adopted daughter, though she was more of a daughter/younger sister hybrid than anything else, "So, how are things going at the Academy?"

She rolled her eyes quickly before shooting me a little smirk, "You know, you only ask me about school when you're trying to come up with something to talk about. But since you asked for the fourth time this reception, my answer still hasn't changed. The graduation exams are coming in a couple of weeks and Iruka-sensei said that he expects most of us to pass and become genin." She looked between Kakashi and I, "What were your genin teams like?"

Kakashi started to choke but pulled it off as a cough like some part of the fancy meal had gone down the wrong pipe.

I sighed, "I hated their guts and they hated mine. Although, my sensei was nice."

"Oh... Kakashi?" She looked over at him, clearly hoping that he would have a less terrifying answer. 

"Um, well, my sensei was actually Naruto's father, the Fourth Hokage."

"Really? Cool, who were your teammates?"

He paled a little, but Anzu was oblivious to his discomfort, curiosity was overriding everything else.

"Well, one of my teammates almost died, but then he, uh, was the one who started the Fourth Great Ninja War, and the other died a long time ago."

If Anzu wasn't worried about her coming genin team before, she definitely was now.

I sighed, "Most people don't have bad experiences like that with their genin teams like Kakashi and I. That was back during the Third Great Ninja War, and people were being put onto the field younger and younger. A better example would be to look at Naruto's team. Kakashi was their sensei and Naruto's still close with his old teammates, Sakura and Sasuke."

"Didn't Sasuke try to kill them several times?"

"Okay, maybe not the best example ever." Let's see, we couldn't look at Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji's old team because Asuma died and that wouldn't help assuage any of Anzu's fears. Or Guy's team because of Neji. That just left one team that she'd know, "Look at Hinata's team. She, Kiba, and Shino are still great friends, and they are close with their former sensei, Kurenai, and her daughter. Truth be told, Anzu, being a ninja isn't all fun and games. People die on the field. Yes, things have gotten a lot better since the formation of the Shinobi Union and the new era of peace that we are currently in, but being a ninja is dangerous. If you go to any ninja in this room, they all have at least one person who they've lost. I understand that I'll probably have bad luck for a year or something silly like that for talking about something so morbid at a wedding, but it's something that you need to know before you get your forehead protector. There is no job more important than that of a shinobi, but there's also no job more dangerous."

Anzu picked at the bright orange yutaka that matched her eyes spectacularly, "I know. I remember your hip too, and then there's Kakashi's eye and Naruto's arm. I know that there are sacrifices involved in being a ninja, but there's never been something that I wanted to do more. Even back in that orphanage, I would try to mold chakra or learn taijutsu, and I'm determined to put everything that I've done into doing something good. I want to be able to fight for myself and for others."

My eyes softened with affection and sadness. I was so proud of her, but I knew that she was one person that didn't need to be taught that life was full of hardships. She had seen more in her thirteen years of life than most adults and had the scars to prove it.

Kakashi was giving me a stupidly large grin.

"What?"

The wrinkles in his mask shifted as his smile grew, "Nothing, I've just never seen you in 'mom-mode' before. I like this new, softer side of Kaiyo."

I should have gotten angry with him for that. I would have gotten very angry if anyone else had said that to me, but for some reason, I looked down with self-consciousness.