A Fresh Start-After Mockingjay (Before the Epilogue)

Chapter Forty-Eight

Katniss POV-

"So, Katniss. Tell me, it was later theorized that you may have been faking your love affair with Peeta. What do you have to say to those that believe your relationship wasn't genuine?" Caesar asks me after asking Peeta tons of questions about his recovery from the Games and War and us.

Peeta stares at me, waiting for my answer. I just need to explain it all to everyone now, better now than never. It might help me, clearing this all up and it would probably help Peeta too so it can't hurt as long as I choose my words carefully. "Can I just start from the beginning?" I mumble, having to clear this up for myself, Peeta and everyone in Panem. Peeta looks out into the crowd, biting his lip.

Caesar nods, "Do whatever you need to do."

I swallow hard, my throat feels like I'm trying to swallow sand. I don't know what to say or where to even start. I should've just dismissed it and given Peeta more of an explanation later. "When I was eleven years old, it was the first time I felt love towards a boy named Peeta Mellark. It wasn't at all in the way that I love him now but I think he knows that." I start.

He brings his head up finally and shoots a sad smile at me and leans back into the seat, facing me. I glance behind us and see we are on the large screen above the stage. The one letting even the people in the back of the room see our faces and reactions, along with everyone in all of Panem.

"Go on." Caesar mumbles, leaning forward, obviously as interested as the rest of the audience.

"Peeta saved my family by giving me some bread from his bakery. I was cold and starving. I was about to give up. Peeta risked a lot to give it to me but it meant more to me than he could ever know." I remind them. Peeta closes his eyes and sinks deeper into the leather. The audience whispers rapidly and then drops silent again, all eyes on me. I swear, these people haven't changed a bit.

I take a deep breath and continue, "I felt love towards Peeta because he saved my life. And I'll be the first to admit it wasn't like a love you can claim because you know someone or you're attracted to them but a love you have for someone because of the nice things they've done for you." I explain. I keep having to remind myself that we aren't doing this interview for Snow or saying things for our survival. We are doing this interview for each other and to explain to everyone what's going on in our lives. "Peeta helped me because he was kind and he really did like me and had since we were five years old." I say. The audience 'awes' and I refrain from rolling my eyes.

"When we went into the Games, I was mad at Peeta for telling the world about his crush on me. I was mad at myself for being flattered because I didn't have time to think about him in that way. We were about to die. I had never thought about anyone in that way. I didn't know if I was going to live or what would happen to my family if I died." I explain. "Peeta and I had formed a bond before the Games. From small talk to sarcastic comments we made to each other about how much we had analyzed the other person over the years. I knew I had always cared about him in some way but I couldn't focus on anything but making it home to my sister." I tell them truthfully. Looking back and letting the words fall out of my mouth, I am finally able to understand it all myself as I try to explain it to them. "When they announced that there could be two Victors, I was ecstatic. I'll admit, I played it up in the cave but I knew that Haymitch would help us out more if we gave you all a better show. It was wrong of me but Peeta understands why I did it. By the end of the Games, we had grown closer and I realized that I had developed some kind of feelings for him." I tell them honestly.

"So, you admit to playing your romance up?" Caesar asks me. Peeta gives him a look and then looks to me.

"Not in the way you all think. I mean, Peeta and I barely knew each other and we definitely never kissed before then. So anything more than just our casual conversations during training was playing it up." I feel my nerves beginning to get to me. "I'm sorry." I say to the audience but mostly to Peeta.