Karma Is My BFF (COMPLETED)

21- Dancemomery Part I

There are many useless things one learns in the course of their lifetime, however short. These things accumulate the mind with useless information about the Pythagorean Theorum, song lyrics, the location of Arkansas (Sorry Arkansasanians) , and other ridiculous brain trash.

What they don't teach you is the more important stuff, like the necessity of Ramen noodles in one's college career, the dangers of mainstream pop music, and the downside to getting a perm, as well as.... dancemomery.

I'm more than positive that you've heard of the reality show Dance Moms, and if you've watched it, I'd like you to push that through the tubes of your brain and out your ears because we need to start fresh.

The realm of being a dance mom is completely different that the world of soccermomosity or marchingbandparentry in many ways. And if you're wondering what you're doing on this dark, dark, dark, corner of Wattpad killing your brain cells, I'd like you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror (which is very close from now on) and remind yourself that you are not too good for this.

Now, to clear up the confusion you do not need to be a mom to be a dance mom, absolutely not! You could be an obese uncle, a gay older brother, a traumatized nanny, or a pet unicorn and still these tips and tricks would be applicable to you. Because dance moms are the manifestation of every species of human on earth.

I have taught you readers how to survive the zombie apocolypse, how to be a bridesmaid in a dream wedding (LITERALLY!) (those chapters have been unpublished), and how to be a proper Indian housewife (I'm not telling you that you are, but you're subconsiously learning). But this topic must be covered with such indescribable delicacy and care, I have decided to type this in English class right next to my unsuspecting classmates who are breathing incredibly loud.

Oh great, that Asian guy just sneezed, and I've lost my train of thought.

Anyways, you may be wondering: why is this wierd Indian teenager telling me what to do.

1 year of balllet
3 years of Barthanatyam
1 year of Bollywood dance
Begginer's course on marching band color gaurd
I am the ultimate veteran

You're probably thinking, Josniffles, I've never danced before. I'm such a hopeless dingledorf

When you're a dance mom, your dancer's experience is your experience squared.

My sister has only done two years of barthanatyam and one year of classical ballet, and my mother has no experience with being an actual dance mom, since she prefers the new alternative, "drive my kids to the performance site in my pajama's and crawl back to my spreadsheets for work" method.

It's very innovative. Don't try it.

This has lead to me picking up the slack as a dance mom for about two years now, and I've compiled all the miscellaneous information I've picked up at every performance and rehearsal Attended on my tender 13- year-old life span.

So are you ready to learn how to be the ultimate dance mom?

Get Ready