Karma Is My BFF (COMPLETED)

37- Twenty One Pizzas

So, here I am. And generally, (mindcrippling self doubt and hatred aside) I think I am an okay person. Apparently I'm on the taller side- which is half true since the average height of an American woman is 5 foot 4 inches and I racked up 5 feet and 6 inches so far.

But I have slowly come to notice that everyone is catching up. For example, there's this guy in my grade; his name is Adrian, but that's not relevant to our story.

The other day I was working at this event to help the incoming sixth graders get accustomed to our school, and my eyes were focused on this really short kid who had trouble finding his locker, and just rammed into him head first.

I'm not even joking. My life is actually that sad. Anyways, now that we acknowledged that those paragraphs were just a setup for what I'm actually going to talk about- and that is the bane of my existence; my baby face.

And I know I don't do face reveals that often, or ever for that matter, but I decided to do one today

I'm pretty sure I posted a picture of this person before, but this smiling

Little loaf of bread is our mascot okay? It is our unofficial meme. It is my actual patronus, my spirit animal, my senpai, the source of my self- depreciating humor.

Moldemort  is my past, present and future. You think you're reading a normal pointless Wattpad post but this is actually a horcrux that sucks the soul out of you.

I love the Internet.

The actual representation of my true inner self.

When you first look at it, everything is all good, just a little brown person waddling around and minding their own business, but the more you look at it, you see that they are actually dead on the inside-
Here let me show you

It's not like I'm the face of Melanie Martinez's album or anything, it's just that my eyes are on the larger side, and I don't exactly have a jawline ( I'm not chubby in the chin area I just don't have a samurai sword for a jawline).

And my cheeks just add to the illusion of me actually being an unrealistically tall newborn. I'm not over exaggerating at all; some people even feel the need to go in and squeeze my fucking cheek. Like who do you think you are ya little shit?

You're definitely not one of my relatives, and I don't know where those hands have been, so get them as far away from me as possible ya little nasty.

When I smile, the sides of my face stretch out and create these huge, billowing lumps of skin on each side of my face- I have such a bad baby face that twenty one pilots should have named their album "baby face " after me instead of blurry face.

I've told this to some people and they're just like ," well when you're fifty years old you're going to be looking better than the rest of us senior citizens."

... First of all - honey, I would still look better than the rest of you hoes regardless of my babyface. And the last time I checked, that's not exactly how aging works! Having a baby face doesn't really slow down the aging process, it just makes you a subject of "compliments" and people you secretly hate walking up to you and fluffing your face boobs.

But I digress.
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August 26 was apparently a very important day, mainly because it's Dylan O'Brien's birthday, but according to several cute dog posts, it was also international dog day.

But since I don't have a dog of my own, I took to Instagram and
Posted a picture of Sirius Black on Instagram.

I am way too proud of myself for coming up with that one.
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