For Crying Out Loud

2: Why Me?

    Sierra's P.O.V

     The bell rings for lunch and I grab my shit and storm out the room, gaining worried glances from Bethany, Krissy and Krissy's boyfriend Walter. They follow after me. "Sierra!" They call, "Sierra! Come back and talk to us!" But I'm already gone, jerking my car keys out of my pocket.

     I get to the car and slam the driver's door closed. Then I break down into a puddle of acidic tears. I bang on the dash board and scream and cry. "Why me!? Why in the Hell do you do this to me?!" I shake and pull into myself as the anxiety takes control. After I few moments, there is a bang on my window. I look up, teary-eyed, to see Jake staring at me. I roll down the window and look at him. "What do you want?" I croak. The thump in my throat resting on my vocal chords.

     "Move over, I'm driving." I glare at him, eyes blazing.

     "Baby... I want to be with you." I hiss at him, before obliging for reasons I can't explain. He scoots in and starts the car, driving out the lot. We have a free period after lunch together. We used to do this and go to the park to get high or screw. Those were the days when I didn't hurt nearly as much.

     "Did you actually believe I would leave you that easily!" He yells at me. His honey brown eyes almost on fire with anger at god knows who.

     "I don't fucking know what to expect from you anymore! Since you two have started dating it's been nothing but down hill for us, and you know that! But what do you do? You chose her! You fucking chose her and break every promise we ever made to each other! What in Christ's name did you expect me to think?" I yell at him. He pulls over near the park and looks over at me, all anger gone, just a deep sadness reflecting in his eyes as a tear escapes. Then his lips are on mine and the familiar taste of cinnamon toothpaste and Dr. Pepper over takes my mouth. Our tongues intertwine as we crawl into the backseat and within moments I'm under him, my legs wrapped around his back.

     His fingers slide along my skin, sending shivers through my body. He always knows just where to touch me. I slide my fingers through his hair and tug lightly. "I missed this so much." He growls, everything else muffled by his sweet kisses. In this moment I'm not thinking about her or my friends or my family or school. I'm thinking about us and how, even if it is for just a couple minutes, we are how we used to be.

     I pull my shirt back on and button up my jeans. He just smiles at me as he run his fingers though my hair. I can't really look him in the eyes right now. I know that when we get back to school, we have to act like we don't know each other. I put myself in these positions. My life is fucked up because I allow it to be.

     I jerk my head away and crawl into the driver's seat. I don't say a word to him the entire drive to school, but he stares at me. I see his eyes in the rearview mirror. He used to look at me like that all the time, but now it's so rare that it means nothing to me. I get to the road near the school and stop, looking over at him.

     "If you get out of my car up there, people will talk and I won't hear the end of it. You should walk the rest of the way." He obliges and steps out. I speed past him as tears well up in my eyes. I explode into a fit of crying as soon as I park.

     Jarrod sees me and walks up to my car, his slim body sliding into the passenger seat. I don't care though. I just keep crying as his tiny arms wrap around me. He whispers to me that it'll be okay, but I can't believe that. Not right now. Not in this moment. I just lay my head on his shoulder and cry, soaking his tee with my salty tears. I can't tell him what happened. I can only let him assume.

     My stomach turns and my sobs hiccup as I try to calm down. Jarrod just waits there, refusing to leave. After a while Bethany, Krissy, and my best friend Jude are all in the car, huddled around me and rubbing my back. They all whisper for me to stay strong. That I'll be okay. That everything will work out, but I ignore it all, unable to hear them over the pain in my heart. Full throttle break downs are rare for me, but this is one.

     I bang on the steering wheel a couple times and scream absolute non-sense. But that's what it will take. My friends just sit there, Krissy with her light brown skin and eyes like puddles after a thunder-storm. Bethany with her Latina complexion and worried green orbs. Jarrod with his pale skin and clear blue eyes. Jude with his dirty-blonde curls, tall stalky figure, and eyes that remind me so much of Neptune. They all just sit there, taking turns hugging me and rubbing my shoulders as consoling as possible. But it only hurts more, for just moments ago it was Jake touching me. "Why me?" I whisper, "Why me?"

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*sighs* you'd be surprised how much these emotions are true. Vote and tell me what you think. LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS.