For Crying Out Loud

11: Racing The Pace

Jake's P.O.V.

None of my friends have talked to me in days. They avoid eye contact and speed past me in the halls as if I'm some disease, so I stay close to Amy. I spend every possible moment with her so I won't have much time to think about Sierra.

Today during my free period I go for a walk. I do it a lot lately. Whenever I have no choice but to be alone, I walk. I have no particular destination, but it fills my head with other things that don't relate to her. As long as I stay away from that damned park I'm good.

I turn my phone on about half way up the in front road of campus. As I wait, I take a moment to look around. Sierra dropped me off here not but a week ago. I hadn't intended it to actually be goodbye. In fact, I had hoped to get around it. Then everything fell to pieces before my eyes and I had nothing left to do but say goodbye. I didn't even have the balls to say it to her face. Perhaps Kayden was right. I am pathetic.

My phone buzzes and buzzes again. Continuously going off in my pocket. Part of me hopes it's Sia as I pull my phone back out. I look down and swipe through the texts. No Sia. All of them are from her cousin Jewel. As I read through them, I swear my heart stops.

Jewel: Bruh, you need to call me. Now.

Jewel: dude seriously. This is important. I just talked to my aunt about Sierra.

Jewel: Jake, I know you know about the Suicide attempt, but she had a miscarriage a couple days ago at the hospital.

Jewel: The baby was yours and you know it.

Jewel: Don't worry about calling me. Call her. She got relieved today.

I think I'm going to be sick. I drop my phone as the ringing in my ears start. Then my hands start to shake, followed by a quickening heart beat. A pain sprouts in my temple, and my breathing grows rugged. I haven't had a panic attack in years, but as my body rejects the news, I become completely aware of what's coming. I bend down and pick up my phone cautiously. I take a slow breath before I start running.

I race against the pace of my heart, my feet ramming at the asphalt with every beat. Tears sting at my eyes, and I subconsciously blame it on the opposed force of the wind. I know better though. My shattered pieces have been stomped on.

I run at a jagged pace, ignoring the tiredness of the muscles in my legs. I shoot up street after street, and for the first time I know where I'm going. I just hope I make it there before I break down completely.

People stare after me as I pass, the sweat trickling down my forehead causing my hair to stick right above my eyebrows. I ignore that too. The people here will talk. It will get back to Amy. I'm aware of it all, but I honestly don't care right now. Sia just lost a child. She lost my child.

I make it to her porch. The beat up trailer standing out in the midst of a luscious field behind it. I take a moment to catch my breath a little before I knock. Ms. Paige answers and is taken aback when she acknowledges me. Her eyes are puffy and red and cigarette smoke sprouts from the cherry of the stick between her fingers.
"What do you want?" She asks, crossing her arms.

"I need to talk to Sierra." I reply as I try to look around behind her.
"Lucky for her, she isn't here." She takes a drag and leans against the door frame.

"Where is she?" I ask, taking my phone out to text Sia. Ms. Paige pushes my phone down and looks at me. Sadly. Disappointedly.

"She told me she was going to get coffee with a nice girl she met at the hospital. She's trying to move on, so please don't bother her."

"She's grieving. She lost our child Ms. Paige. I need to talk to her." She shakes her head at me and sighs.

"Don't you think you've caused her enough pain? She tried to kill herself after all. I almost lost my baby because of you."

I glare at her, the panic and the anger not mixing well. "I did lose my baby. Yes, I am aware of what I did. I didn't give her those damned pills though. She made that decision. I didn't make her do anything. Opposed to all of that, I need to talk to her."

"Well if you're so desperate, then go find her. Don't ask me for help." Then she slams the door in my face.

I walk my way through the streets now, thinking about where she could be. Ms. Paige said something about coffee with someone. As if this is time for dates. There is only one place Sia goes for coffee around here, so I pick up my pace to a fast jog, trying to stabilize my breathing as I head to the little dinner a couple streets down. Soon enough I'm standing in front Charlie's watching Sia hop in her car with a petite caramel skinned girl. I run over before they pull out, and I knock on the window. She rolls in down and looks at me in awe.

"We." Breathe. "Need." Breathe. "To." Breathe. "Talk." I can't breathe. The last thing I see is Sierra jumping out and catching my head before I fall. Darkness consumes my vision as soon as I hit the ground.

______~|~
Well that happened. I know they fall unconscious a lot, but I'm just mesmerized by that particular action. The way exhaustion can consume you so fast. It's intriguing. Anywho. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Vote, comment and Tell me what you think. LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!!