For Crying Out Loud

14: Drowning in Sorrow

Sierra's P.O.V.

I wake up on an unfamiliar bed in an unfamiliar room with no one in it but me. I sit up and look around, shivering a little as the blanket slips from my bare shoulders. Yesterday plays back in my head as I remember how I got here. The fog slowly disappears to reveal a deep feeling of guilt. What have I done?

I throw my legs from the bed and stand, grabbing my clothes that are currently strewn all over the floor. I put them on, and walk out the bedroom, the delicious smell of maple meeting my senses.

I walk toward the smell, and find myself in a well organized kitchen that holds a barely dressed Precious. She stands at the stove, flipping pancakes in nothing but a short gown. My stomach clenches at first as I remember last night, but then I remember the yelling between me and Jake. There are no more knots to keep me tied to him, so if I want to love someone else, dammit I will.

I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, kissing her cheek and whispering into her ear. "It smells amazing." She giggles and leans her back against my chest.

"Well I wanted to be good host." She whispers back in that silky voice of hers. I laugh and kiss her shoulder a few times before I look for plates.

"Oh trust me, you've been a great host." I don't have to look back at her to know she's blushing, but I do anyway. Her light brown skin visibly heats up. I can't help but chuckle as I pull a blue plate from the cabinet.

She plops three medium sized pancakes on the ceramic plate, and points me to butter and syrup. I dress my breakfast, and sit down next to her at the bar. When I take my first bite, my stomach flutters in satisfaction, and I can help but sound out how heavenly it is.

"Mmm. This is amazing" I say before taking another bite, followed by another and another. I hadn't realized I was so hungry.

She watches me with beautiful smiling blue eyes. I smile at her and reach for her hand, which she allows me to take. "Thank you, for this, and last night and yesterday. It's a bit crazy, but I'm glad you stuck around." I say to her. Her lips curve into a soft smile as she nods.

"I don't leave people when they need me. It's not really my thing." She replies. I scoff out a laugh as I work my way to my third pancake.

"That would be different opposed to everyone I've gotten close to." I sigh. She touches my cheek and and kisses me softly.

"I'm not everyone else. I'm Precious."

"That you are." I whisper, and I mean it. She really is precious, but sadly, no matter how precious she is, she isn't Jake. But I'm glad he's gone. I have Precious now.

Jake's P.O.V

I look over at the clock. It reads 7:00 in the morning. I still haven't slept. I'm to tired to sleep. I'm to fixated on cleaning up my mess to sleep. No, I don't mean the mess in my apartment. I couldn't care less about that. I mean the emotional mess I have made that has distanced me from her.

You see, I hadn't really realized how much she meant to me until she told me she was glad to get rid of me. In that moment, my heart seemed to convulse, shrinking in on itself until there was nothing left but her memory. Our memory. The memory of what we were before I. Fucked. Up. Everything.

We can't be broken. Not me and her. That's just a monstrous thought. I cannot even begin to imagine what the world would be like without the two of us joined together. She was Spider-Man and I was Jane. Without me, she has nothing to save.

I've ignored all of Amy's calls. I'm as good as done with that controlling bitch. I want my Sia back. I want that happiness back. I'll follow her to Boston. I'll go wherever she asks me. I'll do whatever ever she wants me to. I'll make all of this up. I have to. I understand that this pain is the consequences of what I did to her, but I've seen the error in my ways. Things will be okay, right? Right?

I can still feel the alcohol pumping in my bloodstream, heating me up head to toe. I know I'm drunk right now. I'm fully aware of it. But I can honestly say, I haven't though this clear in a long time. I pick up my phone and call her. Once. Twice. Three times, before I decide to give up and leave a voicemail. As I speak, I realize how slurred my words are, but she will listen and understand. She has to. Our fate depends on. Life itself depends on it. At least, that's how I currently view these circumstances.

"Hey it's me I'm sorry for everything and I don't want it to end like this." The first sentence comes a little to fast. I slow down. "I love you. I feel like I'm losing my mind, Sia. I don't think I can do this whole happiness thing without you. I honestly don't even know why I tried to in the first place. It was a mistake. All of this was a mistake. Please forgive me. Call me back. Let me fix this. I'll do anything. Please. I..."

"Message is full. If you would like to send this as an urgent message, press one. If you would like to send this as a regular message, hang up."

"Dammit." I hang up and press my head harder against the wooden floor. I have been laying here for five hours, thinking and watching the ceiling fan spin round and round in circles. How did I get here? What happened? I just don't understand how one minute everything was great, then the next Sia was dying, then losing our baby, then going a date, then telling me she was glad I was gone. I was happy to have let go of her, then I started missing her. Then I started breaking. Then I ignored everything. Then I was running. Then I was here, drowning away in my own pathetic sorrow.

_____~|~
How's that for a twist in events? They kind of just switched places. Sierra is feeling slightly guilty, but is moving on, and Jake is the one fighting for them now. Ironic huh? VOTE AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! LOVE YOU MY DARKLINGS!!