Anxious Player

17%

It was about a week since Connor left my house, though he hasn't messaged nor called me. It made me panic thinking about it. My anxiety started taking over my system again. Those thought-filled bubbles started getting inside my head. 

What if he was somewhere where I can't contact him? What if he was cheating on me--with Stacey? Oh God. I couldn't take it anymore, so I decided to call him. "Con! Where are you?" I asked. Note that there was loud music in the background. "Wh-why the fuck are you calling me? Can't I have some alone time!?"

"I'm sorry, I-my anxiety just took over." He snapped out for some reason. "Oh, so when you have anxiety that's the only time you'll call me!?" 

"Connor please!" I yelled at my phone. "I would never do that to you!"

"It seems like it." 

"Oh, so you think I don't love you anymore? Is that what you think?" I asked as my voice cracked. "Yes! Now we're done! And everything about Stacey is true!" He hung up. I was devastated, my bottled tears started flowing down my face and dripping onto my shirt. 

I tugged on my white shirt and used it as tissue, and my endless stream of tears kept running. I can't love him anymore since he's with Stacey. I sniffed and collapsed on my bed, staring at the dim light on the ceiling. 

"I will get you through your anxiety." "I love you too." "Morning beautiful." "Hey boo." All this kept replaying on my mind. How could he have done this? I started breathing shortly and I looked around, feeling like I was being cramped in. The size of my room was decreasing, it was claustrophobic. I felt like drowning in a pool of my own thoughts. 

I started shaking, my vision started to get hazy. My throat tightened every second.. and I blacked out and fell on the floor. 

--

I woke up, still on the floor but I was laid on my side, weird. I heard the door open and I stood up. Connor. This was the next morning by the way.

I sat up and he sat on my bed, he looked at me. "What are you doing here?!" I yelled as I tried to stand up. "Woah woah, sit down."

"This isn't some Scandal in Belgravia scene from Sherlock! Get out of my house!" I snapped as he grabbed my arms. "KATHERINE!"

"WHAT!?" I yelled back at his face. "LISTEN TO ME!"

I didn't respond. I freed myself from his grip and left my room. I sat on the sofa and cried, my tears weaving down my face, onto my neck and down to my sofa. 

He left my room and sat beside me on the sofa. "Listen."

"Why would I listen to someone who told me rubbish things!?" I snapped at him. "LISTEN." He sighed as he rested his forehead on the palm of his hand. "Everything I told you last night."

"Shut up. I don't want to hear another paragraph of your fantasies." 

"KATHERINE! *sigh* E-everything I said about Stacey, everything I said about you. I-I'm s-sorry."

"And how can you make me believe you?"

"Because I was drunk! You know my drunk voice! You heard music playing in the background!" 

"Oh, so it wasn't just you trying to talk in gibberish whilst your friend is firing up music?"

"LOOK! Katherine--I love you."

"Oh wow, I haven't heard that before from a man who cheated on his girlfriend." At this point, he sighed. "Can you stop being so Sherlock?" 

"Ugh! What do you want to prove to me?That you still love me after you announced that you are with Stacey? You declared that we were through!"

He cupped my cheek and pulled me closer to him. "Can you stop!? You told me we were already through, didn't you?!"

"SHUT UP! Katherine I fucking love you to death." "Then why the hell would you tell me that you were with Stacey!? Whenever I woke up, I saw your bare chest filled with red lipstick stains!" 

He stopped and looked away. "Can you just go away? You told me we're through already! So we are! Get out!" I pushed him out the door and locked it. I slid my back down the door and curled into a ball. I can't believe I did this. 

----

A/N

quite sad, isn't it?

I've been binge watching sherlock iM SORRY

but this is a short chapter, sorry.

if you are very kind 

would you like to see more shitty chapters? no im jk

share,

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and comment!! <3

-xfrostay