Anxious Player

36%

"W-why?" These words just mumbled out of my mouth instantly. How could he just say that? What did I do wrong? "I just—don't find a spark in us anymore and.. I'm moving countries." Connor answeredr back as I sighed, pressing my lips together and holding my tears back.

"Was there even an us? Connor—everything is so cliche. I hate it. What about the apartment and all?" I asked him and stared into his hazel eyes gazing on the floor, with my reflection imprinted on. "It's all yours."

I couldn't believe it. "After all we've been through—" He nodded. My tears conjoined and drew a line down my cheeks. My heart beating faster and faster at the second, my throat tightening, the area around me decreasing in size. "I-I'm sorry." He trampled over his words. "You have to literally know that you're making my depression and anxiety worst." I muttered as tears came running down again and again. "I know, and I'm sorry. I love you, I really do. But—like, I can't deal with long distance relationships. I don't want to hurt you anymore—"

"But you're hurting me so much right now." I grumbled. "I know, and I'm sorry." I sighed. "What made you break up with me other than the long distance crap?"

"Anxiety. Your anxiety gets in the way of absolutely everything."

"I'm sorry! I can't control my fucking anxiety! I thought you promised that you'll help me get through this?" I tried to keep my voice down, but I couldn't.

"Everything is just pressuring me. Academics, love life, family—just everything!"

My world was visibly crumbling apart, my vision was blurry, the walls started compressing the air around me.

- - -

I woke up in the clinic, with my vision cursed with haziness. My eyes were puffy after all the crying I've done, nose were as red as Rudolph's. A teacher was seated beside the bed I was on, fiddling with his thumbs waiting for a response. "Ms. Bridgestone," He mumbled out.

"I need to ask you some questions." He continued, making me nod silently in response. I sat up and wrapped my arms around my bent knees. "Why did you suddenly pass out?" It took me a minute to spit the words out my mouth.

"Sir, I-I have extreme anxiety. Whenever I panic too much, I pass out." I answered as he nodded at the last bit. "Don't you have meds, or anything?"

"I do have meds but I forgot to take them—I was distracted by the situation happening."

"And what was the reason for passing out?" He asked. I felt tears start to build up gradually inside the sockets of my eyes. "My boyfriend and I.. broke it off." He sighed, later sneaking a smile under his hands.

"Academics first." There it was, the two words that are common to elderly people. "But I do hope you are feeling fine now." He smiled.

"I am feeling a bit better, sir." I mumbled. "Okay, good. I'm gonna leave you here, but please take care." I nodded as the teacher slowly stood up and left the clinic.

I just kept questioning. Why was he leaving the country? Why did he say that he'll be my future husband? Ugh, God. Lesson learned; never trust on people too much because you'll get hurt—like a lot.

Connor walked in the clinic and sat down immediately on the bed the teacher previously sat on. "Why are you here?" I asked as I tried not to look so angry. "I just—wanted to talk about it further more."

"Why did you want to.. stay in another country?" I asked. "My family—well they're leaving to go to another country." I shook my head. "And you're afraid that you'll be alone? Connor, I'm here with open arms always. Am I just really a nobody to you?"

"No, you're not."

"Can I just have one last kiss?" I asked. He sighed and looked around, later pulling my head closer to his. Out lips collided, taking short breaks after every kiss.

I eventually placed my hands on his cheeks since I really felt his love transferring to me. I pulled away, and pulled the sleeves of my sweater to my fingers. "I love you." He said with the u-sound longer.

"Love you too." I smiled into his eyes. "Wait, when are you leaving?" I asked.

"On Sunday." He mumbled. "Two days from now, I guess."

I sighed. There were only two days left before Connor leaves, and it's such a short time. "How are we going to do this?"

"We only have two days left until you're leaving."

"Then let's live our last moments together. It's so cliche, but it's true." He smiled at me. He intertwined his hand with mine, and looked me in the eyes.

"I love you, so much." His smirk devoured as his words came out of his mouth.

---

HELLOOO

im back

from the dead

aka school

i hope you liked it? my grammar is quite off

i know

im soRRY

-G