The Story of You and Me

Chapter 34

I shuffle books around on the desk, I know that notebook is around here somewhere. I lift up a textbook and something catches my eye. I pick up the pamphlet and feel my blood run cold as I read the bolded title, U.S. Marines. I feel my heart rate pick up as I read the words underneath it Why should you enlist?. I don't want to even think about what this might mean.

"Did you find it?" Cole asks, smiling as he appears in the doorway. I turn to look at him and the smile immediately drops off of his face. "What's wrong?" He asks quickly, concern furrowing his brow. I hold up the pamphlet, "The Marines?" I question, fighting to keep the panic out of my voice.

"Oh," He sighs, running a hand through his hair, something changing on his face, "Yeah, I didn't really want you to find out this way but um... yeah, I'm considering enlisting." I gape at him and then slowly shake my head, "No," I whisper, still not wanting to believe that this is happening.

"No?" He asks, raising his eyebrows, "No, you don't want me to go or no you're still processing?" I look up at him, already hating myself for what I'm about to say. "No, I don't want you to go... gosh, I'm so incredibly selfish..." I trail off but he doesn't say anything, sensing that there's more I have to say.

"I don't want you to go because... I don't think I can handle constantly wondering whether you're okay. Whether your still alive... Gosh, that sounds terrible, I don't want you to go because I can't handle it. I just... I don't think I can do it Cole." He stares at a moment, "You don't think you can handle it? What about me? It's my choice after all." He pauses, neither of us saying anything for a long moment.

"Dylan, are you asking me to chose... you or my career?" He asks quietly.

I don't think before I nod my head yes, immediately regretting it. "You're asking me to chose." He states again, his voice cold. He stares at me, his eyes angry, "You're asking me to chose?" He practically shouts, "Who freaking does that Dylan? Who asks someone to chose between their girlfriend or their career?"

I feel tears slip out of my eyes and glide down my cheeks. "Cole, I..." He cuts me off, "No, don't do that. Don't say my name all soft and try to make me forgive you or forget what you just asked me to do because it doesn't work like that. None of this works like that, you can't just ask me to chose Dylan. I don't think... I don't think I can be with someone who asks me to chose."

I stare at him, crying harder now, wanting desperately to go back and redo this conversation. "So, that's it... we're done." I whisper. He stares at me, his eyes softening just a bit, "You asked me to chose?" He questions once again. Knowing I can't lie I slowly, reluctantly nod my head.

"Then... yeah, I think we're done." He has tears in his eyes too as we both stare at each other for a long moment. I slowly reach up and undo the clasp of my necklace, slipping it off and placing it on the desk, trying to ignore the tears streaming quickly down my cheeks. That act alone nearly undoing me, I bend down and pick up my bag, shouldering it and stepping past him towards the door.

Before I can walk out, he grabs my arm. I turn my head back to him, meeting his gaze. We've had fights before but, as he gently squeezes my arm I know that this time is different. This time there's no going back... This time it really is goodbye.

Slowly I take a step forward and then another, until I'm out the door. Leaving him standing there with the unspoken goodbye still a fresh wound on both of our hearts.