Amnesiac

Seventh

Darren didn't seem to have the heart to show up today, so I was bored to the max in the house. Today was officially my second week of being out of the hospital and being able to stay home, so that gives out that I was finally stable.

Well, not really.

Ever since I was declared as stable and the meds were doing me some good, mom thought that it was time for her to set herself lose and get back to her normal routine. With that being said, she meant going to work almost the whole night and half of the day.

So much for rubbing the fact I am a burden to her with that phase.

I had an appointment with Doc Karla today, and with my mother being out of the house and Darren being MIA, I guess I'd be getting into Doc's clinic alone this time.

-

"Please take a seat, Andromeda," Doc Karla speaks at me gently, gesturing over to the stool that's set in front of her table. I obliged, taking a comfortable sit on one of the navy blue stools. "So tell me, how've you been?"

I smiled up at her. "I've been doing well, Doc."

"Any improvements with the memory?" she asked genuinely, writing on her notepad.

I sighed. "About that," I said, clicking my tongue on the back of my teeth, "I actually have no improvements on my remembrance. Still blank,"

"Not even one?" she asked, her pen making contact to the paper on the notepad and her making scribbling sounds as she writes. "How about simple memory recollections? Like some sort of a recall from the past?"

I shook my head. "Total blank, Doc." I said.

"Well, how've you been doing with the journal thing?"

"I've been writing there for the mean time." I answered. "It's my diary."

She hummed approvingly and suddenly we were engulfed with silence. But I decided to break it, since there's something about Doc Karla that makes me want to speak up.

"Doc, is it normal that because of my amnesia, I tend to forget how I feel, too?"

Her eyes shot up to me, meeting my gaze. "Pardon me?"

"I've been nagging this to myself for a while now, and I am quite worried," I said, "When I woke up and found out that I had a boyfriend, I was more than just shocked."

She puts down her pen and closes her notepad, leans her chin over the tip of her fingers and lends me her full attention. Her posture was a simple clue that she was ready to listen to whatever I am about to tell her. So I clawed on the opportunity.

"When I saw Darren, I thought I would feel the electricity that most characters feel whenever they see their partner."

"I see that you've been reading again?" she asked me and I nod. "Okay, carry on."

"Yeah, so after that, I allowed him to get a little intimate to me. I thought that maybe in that way, I would feel the same electricity, but there's still none." I admitted. "And I am so worried in a way that what if this amnesia gets our relationship in jeopardy and I won't even feel the slightest of guilt just because I can't remember?"

"Sweetie," she says her pet name to me a little sweeter than usual and there was a genuine smile plastered across her face. "I don't know about giving advices to kids these days, because the advices I give are usually for people who has troubles with their memory," she says and I giggle at her attempt of lighting the mood. "But I am very much aware that if there is something that the mind can't remember, the heart can, right?"

I contemplated what she said and bit my lip. She was right. If my memory is shit at this moment and is confused of how I actually feel for Darren, then my heart should know how I really feel for the man.

The only problem now is that I am also not sure with what my heart feels.

-

"Why is my entire makeup kit has dark colours?" I asked Liz as she applies some eye liner on my eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Andromeda, your taste for make up and clothing is dark. We've come over this already, remember?" she asked me.

I clicked my tongue over my teeth. "Right, sorry,"

At this very moment, I was in my room with Liz. We were getting ready for the said party that she mentioned one time. After swiping eyeliner over my eyes, she stood up straight and braided one side of my hair cleanly then declared that we were ready to go and party.

Darren was aware of the part that I am going on a party. He wasn't very much happy about it, to be honest. He said he doesn't approve me going to a party, seeing that I just woke up from comatose and the ambiance in a party won't be healthy to me. But, my dear friends, I'd be proud to tell you what I shot back.

"And what, staying in here with you not biting my offer of sex would make me feel better? Guess what, Darren; it will get me in the worse case."

Oh yeah, that's right. I scoff that back to him. Damn you huh.

The beach house was getting into sight. I was glad that it was isolated from the rest of the households in the place, so there'll be no noise complaints that would occur. The blast of music seemed to pulse into me, and then my mind goes off to some sort of kaleidoscope effect and there it was.

It just occurred to me that the aura of the party nearby was like throwing me some sort of a memory to me. I slumped back to the seat in Liz's car and she noticed. "What's the matter, Andromeda?"

"I think I'm having some sort of a recall." I said.

"You can remember something?" she asked, excited and giddy over something that is not even confirmed. I'm not even sure if I was really recalling something in my head or if I was just getting the usual headache that I get whenever I try so hard to remember something. "Are you sure you're okay? Do you still want to go to the party or should I drive back to your home so you could rest?"

"Yeah, I'm okay." I assured my best friend. "I'm sure I just need some air. Your car is obviously not the most ideal place in the world, anyway."

"And there is the Andromeda with the shitty sarcasm that I know!" she exclaims happily. "Wow, a piece of you is getting back, and I have the perfect idea of how we shall celebrate that."

"Does this celebration includes drinking?" I asked happily to her, and the question just multiplied her excitement.

"And there, my friend, is the Andromeda that loves liquors that I know way well enough!" she says. "We're totally going in that party right at this second and get us a drink."

I laughed with Liz as we both exited her rather smelly car. The cool air hits me and there was a good relief that washes over me when the fresh air laced with salt smell due to the sea gets into my senses.

"One of us should definitely stay sober."

"That could be you, sweetheart, because I am not planning on wasting the good stack of vodka in this house." she smirks, looking so proud of her declaration.

We both walked to the house that was packed with teenagers. Some were still alive, some were already wasted and their bodies spread over the front foyer of the beach house. The ambiance of the party hits me again, and I swear that I can feel like I was recalling something in my head that once happened before.

I closed my eyes tightly; trying to steady myself and regain the not-blurry sight I had just a few moments ago. I need to pull my shit together if I want to get into this party and have some fun.

When I was satisfied with the feeling I gained, I opened my eyes and walked in.