"Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat
With heaven above you, there's hell over me"
***
May Include: Swearing, Mature Content, Drugs, Alcohol, and May Be Triggering To Some Readers <3
This may be triggering towards some people. A lot of the chapters will also be triggering, but I'll try to remember to put a warning or something. Stay strong loves xxx Allison's POV
"He doesn't even like you, he just pities you." The voices inside my head laughed loudly.
"Why are you still alive, no one cares."
"They all hate you."
"No one will love you."
"Die!"
Why am I still here? I try to keep back my sobs and dig around looking for the thing I need most now. I quickly grab my blade and go into the bathroom and lock the door. I take off all my bracelets and place the blade on top of my wrist. Harshly, I press down and continuously slice open my wrist. I stop until my wrist is full of blood. I lost count at about 13. I sit on the ground, silently, watching the blood pour out of my wrists. Once I started to feel dizzy, I started to clean and bandage my wrist. I then walked out of the bathroom, not forgetting my blade, and put on a long sleeved hoodie. When I walk out, I'm met with a hard body.
"You okay?" I look up and see Michael looking down at me with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I mumble and walk to my bunk. I quickly put my blade back into my bag without anyone seeing and sit on the bed. I sigh and start to think. Why am I the way that I am? Will I ever get better and be happy for once? I laid down on my bed and let the many questions swarm my head. I eventually fell asleep with one thing on my mind: "I'll eventually leave this world one day, for good."
The Next Day
I woke up the next morning to yelling and screaming. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and got up out of bed. I hopped onto the ground and walked towards where all the ruckus is coming from. I go to the 'living room' and see a...unique sight. First I looked over at Michael who was yelling at some video game. I think it was COD. Then I looked over at Ashton who was complaining about there being no more Vegemite. Thirdly I looked at Calum who was yelling about wanting a cuddle from Izzy? I don't know who that is but, oh well. Lastly there was Luke. He looked ready to shoot everyone. He was sitting silently away from the boys looking angry. Luke was never a morning person, so this I expected.
"Will you guys shut the fuck up!? Jesus Christ!" Luke yelled. The boys were silent for a minute, then went back to what they were doing. Luke groaned in frustration then walked towards the back room. I followed him and sat next to him on the couch.
"We're leaving for London today, you're coming with us." He stated simply.
"What? Yeah can't be serious."
"I'm serious. I told you that you can stay with us, so that means traveling."
"At least let me pay for the plane ticket."
"No, you need to save that money."
"Fine." I sighed in defeat.
"We leave in an hour, I suggest you get ready." He said. I stood up from the couch then went to my bag. Since I'll be on a plane for a while, I decided to dress comfy.
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(Why does the sweater describe me???) Once I was ready, I went to the front of the bus with my bags and saw the boys waiting for me.
"Ready?" Luke asked me. I gave him a simple nod in return. We all then walked outside to the van. I was sitting in the back next to Luke and Calum. It wasn't a long drive to the airport, it was only 15 minutes.
We finally arrive at the airport and we all walk inside. We are immediately met with many screaming fans. They started to surround us and grab at us. I quickly start to panic. Suddenly, I feel like I can't breathe.
"Great," I think to myself,"I'm having a fucking panic attack."
I tried to focus my attention on trying to find a way out of the swarm of fangirls. I see a small opening, but as I start approaching it, it is blocked. I frantically try to look for somewhere else to go, but I can't find one. Tears begin to well up in my eyes and I begin to panic even more. Suddenly, I feel someone grab my forearm and pull my out of the crowd. I finally let my tears fall down my face and I can't stop them. I try to focus on breathing now, but it's not working. My vision becomes blurry and I can't see anything.
"Allison, focus on my voice. Breathe. In. Out. In. Out." I hear a familiar voice say. I do what he says and within minutes, my breathing is back to normal. My vision is clear and I look up and see the person who saved me from the crazy fangirls. A smile takes over my face when I see who it is.
