Loving me

Second chance

"He looked at her the way all women want to be looked at by a man." The Great Gatsby

It's been 4 days since I've met Enzo and every morning since then he comes into the coffee house and sits with me on my lunch break. He is keeping his promise, everyday he has come up with different ridiculous stories to get me to laugh. After our lunch break is over, he gets up from his chair and walks to me and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

The minute his walks out the door, my cheeks turn red and I smile.

Today is different, I think he got tired of trying, because it is half way through my lunch break and he hasn't shown up. I don't know why, but the idea of Enzo not coming today makes me sad.

I finish eating by myself and I get up from the table to throw the trash away when I hear the door to the coffee house open.

"I know, I know, I'm late. There was an emergency at home that I had to take care of." Enzo says as he walks closer to me.

"I don't care. It's not like I was waiting for you." I say as calmly as I can.

"I can read you, Love. You are sad that I didn't show. You missed me."

"Get over yourself, you are still a stranger to me." I turn to walk to the trash can.

"Fine you want to know me." He comes closer to me and whispers in my ear. "My daughter got sick and I had to take her medicine to her nanny, when I got there Sofia wouldn't let me go."

I step away from him and I turn to him, with shock written all over my face. "You have a daughter?"

"Yes. Sofia Bianchi."

"You have been all flirty with me and trying to get me on a date but you have a girl at home." He lied to me, he has a wife at home with a daughter.

"Yes. My daughter."

"And wife." I add.

"What? Mia, the only 'girl at home' is Sofia. Her mom left us when Sofia was born." Oh my that poor girl lost her mom at birth.

"Oh."

"Now you know me. Now it's my turn to know about you, tell me something about yourself."
"You telling me you have a daughter doesn't mean I know all of you."

"Sofia is my life. I don't have nothing else in my life."

"I live with two roommates. I am 22 years old. That's about it."

"I know that there is more." He lifts my chin up so I can look at him straight in the eyes.

"But I also know that when you are ready, you will tell me."

"Thank you." I don't know why I'm thanking him. Maybe it's because he isn't forcing me to open up about my past, or maybe it's because he makes me feel safe, secure.

"For?"

"Understanding me." I smile at him.

"How about you thank me by going out with me tomorrow." He says as I pull away from his hold on my chin.

"Enzo..." I hesitate.

"As friends of course." He smiles at me and I smile back.

"As friends." I turn to look at the clock and I realize my lunch break is over. "I have to get back to work. I'll see you tomorrow."

I was about turn away, when Enzo grabs my shoulder and turns me to him. He gives me a gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Tomorrow it is." He says before turning to the door.

Right when he walks out I feel heat on my cheek.

"Mia! Times up." I turn to my boss.

"Of course." I walk to my apron and get behind the counter.

******************************************
"I can't believe you are going on a date." For the first time since I've met Cassia I see her excited.

It's Saturday, and a few minutes ago I informed Cassia about Enzo. She is over the moon that I have let someone in.

"Cassia, we have talked about this. It's not a date." I give her a serious look.

"Of course it's a date and you want it to be a date, so why are you stopping it from being a date." When she says that I look down at the ground. "It's about Alex?" I turn to look at her.

"This has nothing to do with Alexander." I say through my teeth. "It has to do with me."

"Why you." She asks softly.

"I promised myself that I wasn't going to fall in love until I was my old self again." I look up at her. "I can't imagine loving someone, as this person. This Mia." I point at myself.

"What is wrong with this Mia?" She asks me.

"This Mia has worked her ass of to finish school in flying colors. This Mia loves to go to the coffee house on her days of to read. This Mia loves unconditionally." I see a tear rolling down her cheek.

"The old Mia loved everyone. The old Mia was innocent, untouched, untainted. The old Mia had hope. You wouldn't know that, you never met her." I see the sadness turn into anger.

"That's right I never met that Mia, but look around Mia, where are all those people that met that Mia." She hesitates. "They left you."

"Yes. Because they saw who I turned into." I start to cry. "I can't let him in long enough for him to see the cracks. He will leave me."

"No he won't."

"How do you know?"

"I saw your cracks, every single one of them, and I'm still here. Cara saw them too, and even if she can't be here, in Oregon, she is still there for you." She walks closer to me and wipes my tears. "Once you let your guard down for him, he won't turn away. Not every man is Alex."

"I don't want to let my guard down knowing that there is chance that he might destroy the security I have build for myself."

"Have you ever thought that maybe the reason why you and Alex didn't work is because when you loved him, you stopped loving yourself?"
She gives me a hug as she continues talking. "Try to be happy when you leave with Enzo. Let yourself be loved."

"Thank you so much, Cassia." I give her one tight hug before releasing her and walking to my room to get ready.